Dave Anscombe Posted January 18, 2011 Report Share Posted January 18, 2011 (edited) I never really thought twice about it effecting people here on t.f but ive noticed a few so i thought id be brave and tell you how mental health effects me Here goes well i used to be bubbly loud used to laugh alot and be super confident then was diagnosed with Paranoid schizophrenia..and .severe depression....i see and hear things that are not real ! i now have verry little confidence in my self low self asteme......i dont really have friends i dont do much im really quite shy and quiet. i kinda want to keep my self to my self but on the other hand want friends just dont know how to make friends anymore ect ect...... im ok with you guys knowing your all going to find out sooner or later just wanted to know what others suffer from ......and maybe new friendships can be made i know there are a few who will not voice them selfs on here but recently ive got it in to my head that im not alone David xxx Edited January 19, 2011 by Dave Anscombe Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
anzo Posted January 18, 2011 Report Share Posted January 18, 2011 then was diagnosed with Paranoid schizophrenia I'm sure there is some irony in there somewhere. I don't know too much about the subject, but surely diagnosing someone with such a condition just confirms any sort of ideas or concerns you had? The internet is a wonderful thing in that conditions like this don't become apparent. On the other hand it could be that spending you time talking to 'strangers' on the internet is holding you back socially and I wouldn't have thought it to be so healthy that you're not interacting with people in the same way. Can I just ask, are you employed? Are you in a job where you're working with people face to face? I used to be quite a shy person, although being in work it just simply isn't an option - if I were unable to bollock someone over the phone, laugh and joke with people, ask questions, give presentations, give opinion and feedback I wouldn't be able to do my job. My job certainly got me out of my 'shell' and now I'm pretty confident and outspoken. I just struggle to understand how someone can go from being your previous self to someone who gets diagnoised with this? Was there an event that triggered it? Are doctors just too quick to judge this and just makes things worse for you? My thinking is that it kind of confirms that something isn't 'right' which makes you feel different and in turn feel isolated. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave Anscombe Posted January 18, 2011 Author Report Share Posted January 18, 2011 One Day somthing up stairs just triped......i was found walking down the middle of a busy road punching cars comming towards me....and i never remember anyof it...... second time......i beat 2 people up and bit someones ear off and dont remember that then i started getting arrested once or twice a week for doing silly crazy stuff that is sooooooooooooooooo not me! somthing up stairs just went wrong with me baisicly..... then i started getting seriously stressed and paranoid for no reason then i stoped eating for 5 weeks then i started hearing voices thats when i had to do somthing about it all...forgot to mention some times im ok around people and then all of a suden il walk away and just be on my own for weeks! i baisicly lost who i was a long time ago.. i do talk to people face to face and things and dont use the internet to really talk to people...... but i just dont feel like im building friendships and stuff its really hard to explain it all really Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hannah Shucksmith Posted January 18, 2011 Report Share Posted January 18, 2011 You know you've always got me to talk to bub. x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
monkeyseemonkeydo Posted January 18, 2011 Report Share Posted January 18, 2011 best thing i found is weed diagnosed with Paranoid schizophrenia. Is there a link there? Don't know how much you smoke/d Dave but Frank's always saying there's a link... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
anzo Posted January 18, 2011 Report Share Posted January 18, 2011 Is there a link there? Don't know how much you smoke/d Dave but Frank's always saying there's a link... No way, weed is completely harmless cd\Desktop\Mike.Skinner\irony_of_it_all.exe format Brain /q Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tomm Posted January 18, 2011 Report Share Posted January 18, 2011 I just struggle to understand how someone can go from being your previous self to someone who gets diagnosed with this? Was there an event that triggered it? Are doctors just too quick to judge this and just makes things worse for you? My thinking is that it kind of confirms that something isn't 'right' which makes you feel different and in turn feel isolated. I'll start by saying I'm far from an expert on this subject. But schizophrenia, or at least psychotic diseases are probably easier to diagnose than other (neurotic) mental disorders as there are various definable features which aren't open to subjectivity. Delusions (in the true sense of the word) and hallucinations just aren't part of the normal workings of the mind. It's certainly not a diagnosis that's banded around as much as, say, depression - which can be more subjective (although there are also strict criteria for this diagnosis, too). Schizophrenia as a diagnosis has a pretty big stigma attached to it - the idea that doctors use the term lightly is pretty absurd. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave Anscombe Posted January 18, 2011 Author Report Share Posted January 18, 2011 my self and my family blame havey drugs ive used drugs sine i was around 15 ...we all blame it on acid and shrooms now i only really use weed when i feel super low and distructive it calms me down still if i had of known i would have turnt out like this i would have stayed away from everything my self and my family blame havey drugs ive used drugs sine i was around 15 . ...we all blame it on acid and shrooms. im not proud of my past.....i stoped using class A drugs when i met my x....but when we split i went down hill.....and started taking class A and b as well as c again......even went out to the new forrest and picked 6000 liberty cap magic mushrooms that was in october/november they didnt last me long i abbuse drugs when i feel low and upset to escape reality. now i only really use weed when i feel super low and distructive it calms me down still if i had of known i would have turnt out like this i would have stayed away from everything BUT YEAH I BLAME DRUGS FOR HOW I AM TODAY Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark W Posted January 18, 2011 Report Share Posted January 18, 2011 Then surely it'd be as well not to do them? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave Anscombe Posted January 18, 2011 Author Report Share Posted January 18, 2011 all i do now is smoke weed few spliffs a night just to send me off to noddy land.......... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
anzo Posted January 18, 2011 Report Share Posted January 18, 2011 Thought about growing up and getting a bit of responsibility? You have a kid if memory serves me well, how about packing in the weed and the rest of the drugs and being a good Dad? Might give you the headway and ambition to do something with yourself? 22 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dann2707 Posted January 18, 2011 Report Share Posted January 18, 2011 Thought about growing up and getting a bit of responsibility? You have a kid if memory serves me well, how about packing in the weed and the rest of the drugs and being a good Dad? Might give you the headway and ambition to do something with yourself? Wish I could give more rep points... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
1a2bcio8 Posted January 19, 2011 Report Share Posted January 19, 2011 Thought about growing up and getting a bit of responsibility? You have a kid if memory serves me well, how about packing in the weed and the rest of the drugs and being a good Dad? Might give you the headway and ambition to do something with yourself? If we found it that easy then don't you think we'd do it? I've struggled with depression since I was about twelve years old and despite being somebody who does most of the right things in terms of good mental health I still struggle. I have a codeine (opiate) addiction I picked up from an operation I had about five years ago. I was given a load of codeine painkillers, for recovery, without being told that they were addictive. Not only did they ease my physical pain but they balanced my mood which is quite erratic. It then became quite easy to self-medicate for my mental health with painkillers. I've given up codeine and experienced the horrible week long withdrawal about 20-30 times. Whenever my moods alter and I lose my sense of perspective I find myself taking them again. They wreck my concentration (a lot of the stuff I write here has bad grammar, missing words, silly spellings, can be nonsensical, etc.), memory, riding ability, libido, energy, etc. so I pretty much hate taking them. Basically I would love nothing more than to be rid of this habit but I really struggle with it. It's unfortunate but some of us just aren't as skilled with certain aspects of our emotional life as everybody else. In the same way that different people have different levels of physical and intellectual skills, we have people with different levels of emotional skill. We don't expect everybody to be able to ride like Danny Mac and not everybody can neccesarily live up to the emotional skills of those around them. However this doesn't mean that there's not room for improvement just that for some it's a much more difficult and drawn out process. Maybe the tough love approach works though to motivate some Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Token Posted January 19, 2011 Report Share Posted January 19, 2011 What are you doing with your days Dave? Describe a typical day in the life of you.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
anzo Posted January 19, 2011 Report Share Posted January 19, 2011 If we found it that easy then don't you think we'd do it? I've struggled with depression since I was about twelve years old and despite being somebody who does most of the right things in terms of good mental health I still struggle. I have a codeine (opiate) addiction I picked up from an operation I had about five years ago. I was given a load of codeine painkillers, for recovery, without being told that they were addictive. Not only did they ease my physical pain but they balanced my mood which is quite erratic. It then became quite easy to self-medicate for my mental health with painkillers. I've given up codeine and experienced the horrible week long withdrawal about 20-30 times. Whenever my moods alter and I lose my sense of perspective I find myself taking them again. They wreck my concentration (a lot of the stuff I write here has bad grammar, missing words, silly spellings, can be nonsensical, etc.), memory, riding ability, libido, energy, etc. so I pretty much hate taking them. Basically I would love nothing more than to be rid of this habit but I really struggle with it. It's unfortunate but some of us just aren't as skilled with certain aspects of our emotional life as everybody else. In the same way that different people have different levels of physical and intellectual skills, we have people with different levels of emotional skill. We don't expect everybody to be able to ride like Danny Mac and not everybody can neccesarily live up to the emotional skills of those around them. However this doesn't mean that there's not room for improvement just that for some it's a much more difficult and drawn out process. Maybe the tough love approach works though to motivate some I wasn't aware you suffered with such issues, but on the other hand you don't flount it around the forum at every chance you get. I'm sure at heart Dave is an honest, decent guy who just made a few bad choices, we've all been there...however it seems to me he knows he's identified the bad choices but then just does nothing about it...just my opinion for what its worth. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greetings Posted January 19, 2011 Report Share Posted January 19, 2011 Do you have any interests? I don't mean interests like watching movies but activities (perhaps even physical) you actually look forward to doing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
1a2bcio8 Posted January 19, 2011 Report Share Posted January 19, 2011 I wasn't aware you suffered with such issues, but on the other hand you don't flount it around the forum at every chance you get. I'm sure at heart Danny is an honest, decent guy who just made a few bad choices, we've all been there...however it seems to me he knows he's identified the bad choices but then just does nothing about it...just my opinion for what its worth. Sure and there's sense in what you're saying. Obviously he'd be healthier minus the drugs as would I. It's just a shame that it can be a really complicated and difficult thing for some of us when there's an emotional weakness. Talking about my problems with codeine is something I'd prefer not to discuss on a public forum but if it's in the service of helping other people understand these types of problem then I'll do it. It shouldn't really matter discussing it but no doubt it puts you in a negative light with some. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Max Quinn Posted January 19, 2011 Report Share Posted January 19, 2011 I wasn't aware you suffered with such issues, but on the other hand you don't flount it around the forum at every chance you get. I'm sure at heart Danny is an honest, decent guy who just made a few bad choices, we've all been there...however it seems to me he knows he's identified the bad choices but then just does nothing about it...just my opinion for what its worth. To be fair this isn't tacking knocks at Ben here, but I'd say that's not really true. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
1a2bcio8 Posted January 19, 2011 Report Share Posted January 19, 2011 To be fair this isn't tacking knocks at Ben here, but I'd say that's not really true. Yeah I have been rambling about my depression a lot recently eh. In defence of myself though I would like to say that I don't think I flount my problems. It's just sometimes the forum is an easy outlet when others aren't available or working. It's usually slightly regrettable in hindsight though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
anzo Posted January 19, 2011 Report Share Posted January 19, 2011 It shouldn't really matter discussing it but no doubt it puts you in a negative light with some. Not at all. But each situation is different - you got addicted through a medical issue, where as Dave choices drugs purely as a lifestyle choice. I say that on the grounds that I don't believe anyone uses drugs to deal with events in their lives instantly - if they do choose it, the drug issue is already present to begin with, it just gets worse and worse. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matt Burrows Posted January 19, 2011 Report Share Posted January 19, 2011 I wouldn't worry about it Ben, I think it's really good that you can share things even if its just on a public forum. I am the complete opposite, I've found it really hard to talk to people when I've been depressed the last few months. I remember sitting by the phone one night trying to get up the courage to ring Samaritans but never did, its good to talk! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave Anscombe Posted January 19, 2011 Author Report Share Posted January 19, 2011 responsabilities..... try living in my shoes and see how well you would cope with voices and people that are not there i kicked hard drugs as sooon as i felt better ive been a smoker for years it does not stop me from being a good father......i supply everything she needs as well as love and effection ! how about you try living my life for a day see how much you can take......voices and seeing who i call benji ! as well as being ubber paranoid and real bad depression i would give anything to have a normal life. when you go through the kind of things i go through ive found drugs are the only thing that makes it go away ! and to the other fella..............my day goes like this brecci weight training /long walk/swimming.more food...now i can ride so i do that too....help out the family....eat.....computer for a while...phone call to my sisters....fishing....home ....food more weights....shower and bed if i can sleep Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Krisboats Posted January 19, 2011 Report Share Posted January 19, 2011 I have a codeine (opiate) addiction I picked up from an operation I had about five years ago. I was given a load of codeine painkillers, for recovery, without being told that they were addictive. I wasn't told this when i was prescribed them for my ribs, in fact i would never have known until you mentioned it just then. What kind of dosage were you taking? Think mine are like 30mg codeine. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave Anscombe Posted January 19, 2011 Author Report Share Posted January 19, 2011 (edited) drugs are not my lifestyle choice ..i can remember not being verry happy and normal from the age of 11 ..... i pretty much regret doing this topic now as i feel im being picked appart its probably not the case but thats just how i feel i just fancied being able to talk to other suffering people. thanks for the talks people Edited January 19, 2011 by Dave Anscombe Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Max Quinn Posted January 19, 2011 Report Share Posted January 19, 2011 Yeah I have been rambling about my depression a lot recently eh. In defence of myself though I would like to say that I don't think I flount my problems. It's just sometimes the forum is an easy outlet when others aren't available or working. It's usually slightly regrettable in hindsight though. Not so much saying that mate, just that it was a bit unfair to make out Dave constantly goes on about it and you never ever do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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