jt123 Posted April 11, 2010 Report Share Posted April 11, 2010 Went to pick up some pedals for my xc bike off a mate the other day and some fat slut starts shouting to us from about 15ft away. Fat slut - "oi babe, where's your seat, I'd love to come and sit on your bike" Mate - "who needs a seat when you can sit on my face" Fat slut (coming closer) - "ok then" Mate - "err no, you'd break me" I nearly pissed myself I was laughing so hard. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alex@Flawless Bikes Posted April 12, 2010 Report Share Posted April 12, 2010 Chav: where's your seat? Me: right here ( point down as I have an inspired) Chav: o... ( long pause) why you got a seat that's gay! Just gos to show you can't win this them! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
casualjoe Posted April 12, 2010 Report Share Posted April 12, 2010 voluptuous drunken lady: oo hiya! your gloves are nice, my dont you have large hands. casualjoe: uh, not really.. voluptuous drunken lady: oo my bum hurts, I fell over just down the road and banged my bum so hard. casualjoe: savage, voluptuous drunken lady: yea and now I have a big lump on it, you wanna feel? casualjoe: f**k yea. voluptuous drunken lady: *grabs my hand and puts it on that huge booty* can you feel it? casualjoe: nah voluptuous drunken lady: press harder then casualjoe: *squeezes with everything hes got* voluptuous drunken lady: AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!! NOT LIKE THAT YOU LITTLE SH!T!! *exits left* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Oliver gu Posted April 12, 2010 Report Share Posted April 12, 2010 Riding church in darlington vicar comes out, walking towards skeg vicar: " do not do that! you will damage the walls!" Skeg: " so f**k.... i dont live here." hahaa, funny stuff Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe O'Connor Posted April 13, 2010 Report Share Posted April 13, 2010 (edited) I got asked if I had one of those "Freestyle, trick, stunt bikes". Edited April 13, 2010 by Joe O'Connor Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ashley Sayers Posted April 13, 2010 Report Share Posted April 13, 2010 Old man comes over outside greggs "wheres your seat" I say: "A pikey robbed it" LOL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
phobia Posted April 13, 2010 Report Share Posted April 13, 2010 Riding outside our lc st john ambulance centre (sensible if you ask me) old girl bursts through door with the usual get off there then it took at turn oldy "move on you chavs" me "f**k off blaaaad I'll brake you hip" oldy "come on then" standing with arm outstretched me in shock "tell you boyfriend(random behind her) to stop staring or I'll break his nose" we then turned to move on and heard a male voice calling us back old man "sorry for her, I'm impressed but it dangerous and I doubt you make seficiant medical training to look after yourselves" where I onterupted saying that I have first aid old man "want to work for us?" me "do you pay a wage?" old man "that's the problem" we turned at walked away most peculiar turn of events Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JD™ Posted April 13, 2010 Report Share Posted April 13, 2010 oldy "move on you chavs" me "f**k off blaaaad I'll brake you hip" oldy "come on then" standing with arm outstretched me in shock "tell you boyfriend(random behind her) to stop staring or I'll break his nose" You're awesome. Thanks for helping the sports image. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matthew62 Posted April 13, 2010 Report Share Posted April 13, 2010 You just sound like you acted like a dick throughout the entire event. I can't stand how a lot of older trials riders act towards onlookers - its not going to help the sport in any way, and usually whilst being annoying people telling you to get lost are usually right and you should just move on and keep your mouth shut. If course there will always be idiots who shout their mouths off....just try not to be one of them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clawz114 Posted April 13, 2010 Report Share Posted April 13, 2010 You're awesome. Thanks for helping the sports image. QFT Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dirt jumper jake Posted April 13, 2010 Report Share Posted April 13, 2010 (edited) had a weird one today, i back wheeled a bench infront of a theatre and this woman came out and said 'you cant do that' to which is said 'why not?' the she said 'its public property' so i said ' well im the public' then she walked up to the bench and pulled a bit of wood of and she said ' you caused this' then started eye-ing up my bike, she spotted some concrete dust on my down tube from when i fell off earlier and she said ' i can see the wood on your bike' and i said 'thats concrete dust' then she pushed me off my bike and told me to stop lying. i just rode off in disgust, honestly. Edited April 13, 2010 by dirt jumper jake Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bikeperson45 Posted April 13, 2010 Report Share Posted April 13, 2010 People like that really get on my nerves. And most of the time they're overwieght. Benchs have weight capacitys. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scott Gibbs Posted April 13, 2010 Report Share Posted April 13, 2010 Some people have no f**kin clue what so ever! The amount of shit i have had in the last 10 years is unreal. Ive been swung at, pushed, sworn at got into a fight and also been arrested riding my bike. The best one was i was riding across a car park when i guy walked out infront of me so i swerved as you do, he then lunged at me forcing me to collide with a sign post. I jumped up and asked him what the hell he was doing he said i had no right being there and was being a "yob" and pushed me so i lamped him in the jaw and politley told him it was a car park and i had ever right to ride across it. A PCSO witnessed the whole thing told him to sod off before he was charged with afray ind i was told the same! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
casualjoe Posted April 13, 2010 Report Share Posted April 13, 2010 No offence but these last few are not very funny. The joke may be hidden in there somewhere but I didn't get it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dirt jumper jake Posted April 13, 2010 Report Share Posted April 13, 2010 People like that really get on my nerves. And most of the time they're overwieght. Benchs have weight capacitys. Luckily me and my bike are light Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ginger allen echo Posted April 13, 2010 Report Share Posted April 13, 2010 (edited) I can't remember any at this moment in time, but some of the funniest things I've ever heard are when I'm riding with lazenby. some of the random shit he comes out with... Edited April 13, 2010 by ginger allen echo Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rob L Posted April 13, 2010 Report Share Posted April 13, 2010 Me and my 3 mates (matty, gazz and the brik) had been watchin the saracen mad team in barrow, we watched two shows then we took the team riders to a spot just up the road. Matty laughs histerically at everything, and he was riding his new frame, he was just about to do a gap up and I quoted the comentateor in a funny voice, he laughed and fell over sideways, scratching the zoo sticker of his frame. This didnt get old even after 3 impressions. Oh and we were riding liverpool in feb and johny mc tipped water all over his maggy to see if it would make it better, then got several punctures and went in "me mams kitchen" to see if he could find the hole. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe O'Connor Posted April 14, 2010 Report Share Posted April 14, 2010 One day when riding BMX I bunny hopped up some stairs and a guy growled me and told me to go to the skate park and do that. The funny thing is, we dont have a skate park. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
matt.price Posted April 15, 2010 Report Share Posted April 15, 2010 One day when riding BMX I bunny hopped up some stairs and a guy growled me and told me to go to the skate park and do that. The funny thing is, we dont have a skate park. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dirt jumper jake Posted April 15, 2010 Report Share Posted April 15, 2010 One day when riding BMX I bunny hopped up some stairs and a guy growled me and told me to go to the skate park and do that. The funny thing is, we dont have a skate park. i get that when im out riding on my own. "you have a skate park for that" does my bike really look like a bmx ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CC12345678910 Posted April 15, 2010 Report Share Posted April 15, 2010 (edited) I can't remember any at this moment in time, but some of the funniest things I've ever heard are when I'm riding with lazenby. some of the random shit he comes out with... Like the time that PCSO lass tried to move us on at the bird cage in kendal. He poked the top of her hat and he goes 'is that hard' Edited April 15, 2010 by CC12345678910 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JD™ Posted April 15, 2010 Report Share Posted April 15, 2010 i get that when im out riding on my own. "you have a skate park for that" does my bike really look like a bmx ? To Joe public, yes. It has 20" wheels and you're doing 'tricks'. Not everyone knows about trials Some of the 'funny' moments in this thread are properly funny, but not for the reason you're planning them to be. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ben Swales Posted April 15, 2010 Report Share Posted April 15, 2010 Lately people only seem to be interested and haven't come out with anything funny, even when moving us on from places in town. About six years ago I was hopping across some bike rails by the pier in Deal and the pier attendant came running down the steps shouting "Oi! They're not for bikes!" They are. That's DEFINITELY what they're for. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bronz Posted April 15, 2010 Report Share Posted April 15, 2010 You're awesome. Thanks for helping the sports image. You just sound like you acted like a dick throughout the entire event. I can't stand how a lot of older trials riders act towards onlookers - its not going to help the sport in any way, and usually whilst being annoying people telling you to get lost are usually right and you should just move on and keep your mouth shut. If course there will always be idiots who shout their mouths off....just try not to be one of them. Fo realz. Not being funny but some of the 'amusing' incidents in this thread just sound like people (i.e. riders) are being dicks. If you get moved on just do it. No point being a fanny about it—not only will they be pissed at you riding memorials and graveyards (which, in my mind, shouldn't be ridden on full stop) they're gonna think you're a right cheeky bell end too. It's a lose-lose. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
club_card Posted April 15, 2010 Report Share Posted April 15, 2010 Some old guy walked up to us once and claimed that he was from the F.B.I (he even had a little hand written paper badge on his top) he said that there was raidars in the sky watching him where ever he went and told us to go away or we would be arrested, one of my friends then asked him what F.B.I stands for and he went quiet and just walked of shouting. Another time some drunk English tourist gave me 5 euros for jumping over a bench!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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