Maladie Posted July 12, 2009 Report Share Posted July 12, 2009 Cheesy chat up lines.You remind me of a parking ticket, cuz you got fine written all over you!Nice legs what time do they open!They are so crap! LolI got some better ones :'Are you tired? Because you've been running through my mind all day'.'Umm, your tags showing. It says, made in heaven'.'My girlfriend died in a carcrash. The bad news is, she's dead. Good news is, i'm available!'.'If I said you had a good body, would you ..hold it against me?' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paperclip Posted July 15, 2009 Author Report Share Posted July 15, 2009 I got some better ones :'Are you tired? Because you've been running through my mind all day'.'Umm, your tags showing. It says, made in heaven'.'My girlfriend died in a carcrash. The bad news is, she's dead. Good news is, i'm available!'.'If I said you had a good body, would you ..hold it against me?'ohh god! see youll have some luck with the ladies :| Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
No way! wannabe Posted July 17, 2009 Report Share Posted July 17, 2009 A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter."What are you doing?" She asked."Hunting Flies" He responded."Oh. Killing any?" She asked."Yep, 3 males, 2 Females," he replied.Intrigued, she asked. "How can you tell them apart?"He responded, "3 were on a beer can, 2 were on the phone." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smoby Posted July 17, 2009 Report Share Posted July 17, 2009 Male: Did you fall from the sky like an angel?Female: hehe, no, whys that?Male: because it looks like you landed on your face. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paperclip Posted July 17, 2009 Author Report Share Posted July 17, 2009 Male: Did you fall from the sky like an angel?Female: hehe, no, whys that?Male: because it looks like you landed on your face.lol out loud Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
D A N N Y Posted July 17, 2009 Report Share Posted July 17, 2009 STICKYY !!!! and i am Pmsl at all these Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pashley26 Posted July 17, 2009 Report Share Posted July 17, 2009 Literally the best chat up line I've ever used on a repeat offender...I know this bird (no names!) who's in a relationship and stuff but loves a bit of casual sex, one day I managed to bed her after a night at the pub. Anyway, next morning was a bit awkward and she just said the usual "Yeah it was great, but it can't happen again I need to stop this shit!"Saw her in the pub again a few days later and I crept up behind her and whispered in her ear "There the whitest teeth I've ever come across !!!"She was all over me again Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paperclip Posted July 17, 2009 Author Report Share Posted July 17, 2009 Literally the best chat up line I've ever used on a repeat offender...I know this bird (no names!) who's in a relationship and stuff but loves a bit of casual sex, one day I managed to bed her after a night at the pub. Anyway, next morning was a bit awkward and she just said the usual "Yeah it was great, but it can't happen again I need to stop this shit!"Saw her in the pub again a few days later and I crept up behind her and whispered in her ear "There the whitest teeth I've ever come across !!!"She was all over me again hahaha, deffo keep them comiinggggg hehe Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laurence--Trials Posted July 18, 2009 Report Share Posted July 18, 2009 couple of Mississippi hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: "Just take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a shot is heard. The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says: "OK, now what?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dale-Hill Posted July 18, 2009 Report Share Posted July 18, 2009 couple of Mississippi hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: "Just take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a shot is heard. The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says: "OK, now what?"HAHAHA Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kyeo00 Posted July 19, 2009 Report Share Posted July 19, 2009 I got one, i got one!How much does a Cockney spend on shampoo?Pand-ten!--GET IT!?''A pound ten''''Panten'' (The shampoo make) LOL Mat. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deeco Posted July 19, 2009 Report Share Posted July 19, 2009 did u no that wako jako is going to be melted down and turned into dolls so kids can play with him instead of th other way roundboab:omfg micheal jackson deadboabs grab:a thought he looked a bit white the last time a seen him Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kyeo00 Posted July 19, 2009 Report Share Posted July 19, 2009 did u no that wako jako is going to be melted down and turned into dolls so kids can play with him instead of th other way roundboab:omfg micheal jackson deadboabs grab:a thought he looked a bit white the last time a seen himHahah, MJ jokes are funny but, abit tight considering he just died XD Lol. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paperclip Posted July 19, 2009 Author Report Share Posted July 19, 2009 Hahah, MJ jokes are funny but, abit tight considering he just died XD Lol. Its a way of remembering him, its no diffrent to telling the jokes when hes alive. hes was a good singer however hes just as well knows for . . . . . . . . . . . . . . than he is for his pop music.theyve mainly stoped now anyway so its all good, gotta be much more jokes than this people, were not all here to take the sport that serios we cant have a laugth, lets see what you got Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kyeo00 Posted July 20, 2009 Report Share Posted July 20, 2009 Its a way of remembering him, its no diffrent to telling the jokes when hes alive. hes was a good singer however hes just as well knows for . . . . . . . . . . . . . . than he is for his pop music.theyve mainly stoped now anyway so its all good, gotta be much more jokes than this people, were not all here to take the sport that serios we cant have a laugth, lets see what you gotLol, i don't really care about MJ jokes, lol I don't even like him.To be honest i hate the guy, .Mat. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paperclip Posted July 23, 2009 Author Report Share Posted July 23, 2009 Lol, i don't really care about MJ jokes, lol I don't even like him.To be honest i hate the guy, .Mat.erm orite then Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deonn h Posted July 23, 2009 Report Share Posted July 23, 2009 (edited) I got one, i got one!How much does a Cockney spend on shampoo?Pand-ten!--GET IT!?''A pound ten''''Panten'' (The shampoo make) LOL Mat.Thats pretty shit Edited July 23, 2009 by Deonn h Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
moose Posted July 23, 2009 Report Share Posted July 23, 2009 chat up linesi think we should play armies. . . ill just lie on the floor and you can blow the hell out meif i wrote the alphabet i'd put u and i together. spit or swallow? this may result i a slap but 1 out of 10 will go for it trust me ha ha Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nickdonboy Posted July 24, 2009 Report Share Posted July 24, 2009 michael jackson had a thriller of a heart attack and sadly couldnt beat it. michael jackson is coming back to be a plastic shopping bag, nothings changed; hes still white and plastic and a threat to children.HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH :| Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paperclip Posted July 25, 2009 Author Report Share Posted July 25, 2009 michael jackson had a thriller of a heart attack and sadly couldnt beat it. michael jackson is coming back to be a plastic shopping bag, nothings changed; hes still white and plastic and a threat to children.HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH :|lol nick your a fag Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nickdonboy Posted July 25, 2009 Report Share Posted July 25, 2009 lol nick your a fag Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cotty08 Posted July 25, 2009 Report Share Posted July 25, 2009 Man gives blood 2 save his wifes life.A few months later they are divorced.Man says to ex "i want my blood back bitch" Woman throws tampon at man and says"here i pay you back monthly" LMFAO! :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DannyBazz (: Posted July 25, 2009 Report Share Posted July 25, 2009 Whats difference between MJ and Jade goody? 3 monthsThis is a harsh one...Rented slum dog millionaire today, got home, put it in DVD player, and it was a jade goody documentary. So I went back to blockbusters, furious, and says I wanted F**king slumdog millionaire not Jade Goody!Man in shop says: Slumdog Millionaire? I'm sorry. thought you said fat slag with no hair Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mikey Tomo Posted July 25, 2009 Report Share Posted July 25, 2009 Whats difference between MJ and Jade goody? 3 monthsThis is a harsh one...Rented slum dog millionaire today, got home, put it in DVD player, and it was a jade goody documentary. So I went back to blockbusters, furious, and says I wanted F**king slumdog millionaire not Jade Goody!Man in shop says: Slumdog Millionaire? I'm sorry. thought you said fat slag with no hair It's Some Dog With No Hair lol But still funny. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cotty08 Posted July 25, 2009 Report Share Posted July 25, 2009 Man gives blood 2 save his wifes life.A few months later they are divorced.Man says to ex "i want my blood back bitch" Woman throws tampon at man and says"here i pay you back monthly" haha !! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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