Skoze Posted June 25, 2009 Report Share Posted June 25, 2009 Ok so the members get to have all there fun so why cant we, RULES: NO race joke's CheckNO offencive offensive joke's against people CheckNO jokes under 10 words CheckThere, he wins. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bigamac Posted June 25, 2009 Report Share Posted June 25, 2009 (edited) maybe if he read the rules No one cares about rules.But if we spoiler it you can't complain. Building on fire with people trapped in it, Paddy is stood on the pavement outside and shouts up to those trapped "Jump and i'll catch you!" A woman jumps and is caught, a man jumps and is caught. Then a black man jumps and hits the pavement. Paddy shouts up "Don't throw out the f*cking burnt ones!"Lol... Edited June 25, 2009 by bigamac Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scott Gibbs Posted June 25, 2009 Report Share Posted June 25, 2009 I might be too late but sod it this is a cracker! Why does a leprechaun wear 2 condoms? To be sure, to be sure!A mouse finds a viagra on the floor, picks it up and eats it. 10 minutes later he is struting around the house shouting " where's the f**king pussy now! Whats the definition of a drawing pin? A smartie with a hard on! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paperclip Posted June 25, 2009 Author Report Share Posted June 25, 2009 There, he wins.sorry mis count , however still got to wait for 25 joke's, has to be fair.even if you cant get any cheesyer that that! I might be too late but sod it this is a cracker! Why does a leprechaun wear 2 condoms? To be sure, to be sure!A mouse finds a viagra on the floor, picks it up and eats it. 10 minutes later he is struting around the house shouting " where's the f**king pussy now! Whats the definition of a drawing pin? A smartie with a hard on!your not too late, and this is the type of thing were looking for , keep them coming boy's and girl's Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elliott the onza man Posted June 25, 2009 Report Share Posted June 25, 2009 Got some new roll-on deodrant today, i read the instructions and they said. Take off cap and push up bottom.Im still in casaulty now.Bit crap but hay! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TJ. Posted June 25, 2009 Report Share Posted June 25, 2009 (edited) Just a few probs not up to your high standards but oh well its all abit of fun,I just bought 500 sadam t-shirts, they're a bit tight around the neck nut, but they hang well!Bill: Where did you get that gold watch Joe?Joe: I won it in a race. Bill: How many people participated in it? Joe: Three, a policeman, the owner of the watch, and me!!I'm not usually one for posting warnings about potential scams but I had a near miss yesterday.I walked into B&Q and some old guy dressed in orange asked me if I wanted decking.Fortunately, I got the first punch in and that was the end of that.Those less suspecting might not be so lucky.Be careful out there! What goes OOOOOOOOOOOOO??A cow without lips!!What did one snowman say to the other snowman?Can you smell carrotts????Two fish in a tank... says one to the other,'You know how to drive this thing?'A fish swims into a wall.It says, 'dam'.What do you call an exploding monkey?A BABOOM!!!How do you make a cat flap??Throw it off a cliffWhy do Koalas carry their babies on their backs...Have you ever tried to push a pram up a gum tree???What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle ?Use a cowculator !What game do cows play at parties ?Moosical chairs !What did one plate say to the other plate ?Dinners on me !!Here- why are you trying to cross the road in this dangerous place? There’s a zebra crossing just a few yards up the road, said the policeman.Well, I hope he’s having better luck than I am, said the pedestrian.Waiter: And how did you find your steak, sir?Customer: Well, I just pushed aside a bean and there it was! Edited June 25, 2009 by TJ. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scott Gibbs Posted June 25, 2009 Report Share Posted June 25, 2009 A thicko goes on who wants to be a millionaire, he is on the second question for 200 quid. Chris tarrant says for your next question, who was the great train robber? Was ita. Ronnie briggsb. Ronnie barkerc. Ronnie krayd. Ronnie parkerhe looks and says well chris i have had a lovely time but im Gunna take the money. Chris shouts are you f**king thick you still have all your life lines left! The guy replies i may be thick but im not a grass! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PaRtZ Posted June 25, 2009 Report Share Posted June 25, 2009 what you call a chav in a box? initwhat you call a chav in a filing cabinet?sortedwhat do you call a chav in a helmet?safe3 female vampires walk into a bar. The first one says "Can I have a pint of warm blood?" "£7.00 please" says the barman. A bit taken back at the price she pays and gets her drink. The second one goes and says "I havent got £7, how much for a cold pint of blood?" "£3.50" "Bargain she says, and gets her drink and walks off. The third goes up and says "A cup of water please" The barman being the nice man says "Woah woah, if you're that short on cash, i can find you something else?" The vampire replies "No no, Ive got a used tampon and want to make a cup of tea" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bigamac Posted June 25, 2009 Report Share Posted June 25, 2009 3 female vampires walk into a bar. The first one says "Can I have a pint of warm blood?" "£7.00 please" says the barman. A bit taken back at the price she pays and gets her drink. The second one goes and says "I havent got £7, how much for a cold pint of blood?" "£3.50" "Bargain she says, and gets her drink and walks off. The third goes up and says "A cup of water please" The barman being the nice man says "Woah woah, if you're that short on cash, i can find you something else?" The vampire replies "No no, Ive got a used tampon and want to make a cup of tea"EWW! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scott Gibbs Posted June 25, 2009 Report Share Posted June 25, 2009 That was a bit rank:( what do you call an essex girl in a white track suit? The bride!2 essex lads in a car with no music and no fags and going slow, whos driving? The police!What does an essex girl use for protection during sex? A bus shelter!The most popular question in essex? What you lookin at! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sam Nichols Posted June 25, 2009 Report Share Posted June 25, 2009 Did you hear about the magic tractor? It turned into a field. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skoze Posted June 25, 2009 Report Share Posted June 25, 2009 What does an essex girl use for protection during sex? A bus shelter!Must've been from Thorpe Bay, posh bastards... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pashley-phil Posted June 25, 2009 Report Share Posted June 25, 2009 Little red riding hood is skipping down the road, When she see's the big bad wolf hiding behind a log. "Oh what big eyes you have", She says.The wolf runs off, later she see's him hiding behind a tree, "Oh my what big ears you have", She saysAgain the wolf runs off.Later she see him hiding behind a road sign. "Oh what big teeth you have."The big bad wolf jumps out and says "will you f**k off. i'm trying to have a shit!"The big bad wolf says tolittle red riding hood: "Unbutton your blouse and let me suck your tits."f**k off , She replied, As she tugged down her panties."Eat me like the f**king book says." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ben Cox Posted June 25, 2009 Report Share Posted June 25, 2009 Must've been from Thorpe Bay, posh bastards...sure as hell aint colchester lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laurence--Trials Posted June 26, 2009 Report Share Posted June 26, 2009 I might be too late but sod it this is a cracker! Why does a leprechaun wear 2 condoms? To be sure, to be sure!A mouse finds a viagra on the floor, picks it up and eats it. 10 minutes later he is struting around the house shouting " where's the f**king pussy now! Whats the definition of a drawing pin? A smartie with a hard on!lol you'r funny Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kona1991 Posted June 26, 2009 Report Share Posted June 26, 2009 Whats the difference between Micheal Jackson and Alex Ferguson??Fergie will be playing Giggs in August! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laurence--Trials Posted June 26, 2009 Report Share Posted June 26, 2009 HAHA THAT ONE MADE ME LAUGH! nice one Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pashley-phil Posted June 26, 2009 Report Share Posted June 26, 2009 Michael jackson is not going to be buried or cremated but recycled into shopping bags so he can remain white, plastic, and dangerous for kids to play withMichael jackson is doing a remix of i'm bad, called i'm deadOut of respect mcdonalds have released the mc jackson burger 50 year old meat between 10 years old buns Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scott Gibbs Posted June 26, 2009 Report Share Posted June 26, 2009 Big deal, jesus turned water into wine, i once turned an entire student loan into jack daniels! Your move jesus! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mockett Posted June 26, 2009 Report Share Posted June 26, 2009 Mj died having a stroke in the childens ward Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LukasMcNeal Posted June 26, 2009 Report Share Posted June 26, 2009 Mj died having a stroke in the childens wardSickipedia? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
El Cristoff Posted June 26, 2009 Report Share Posted June 26, 2009 Haha, thats brilliant Why did the woman cross the road?Who cares? Why she not in the kitchen!?Whats a womans point of view?The kitchen window.Why is tightrope walking and getting a blowjob from your own nan the same type of thing?You don't look down.What do you do if the dishwasher stops?Shout at her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mockett Posted June 26, 2009 Report Share Posted June 26, 2009 i love sexist jokes Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scott Gibbs Posted June 26, 2009 Report Share Posted June 26, 2009 What do you do if you see your missus watchin tv? Shorten the chain!What do you call a clever blonde? A golden retriever!Why should a man never get a brazilian wax? Because when you get a hard on you look like a sun dial at noon! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kona1991 Posted June 26, 2009 Report Share Posted June 26, 2009 News was released stating that MJ suffered a Heart Attack after falling over a PushChair...Doctors are saying "Dont blame it on the Buggie" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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