Sirius Posted April 23, 2009 Report Share Posted April 23, 2009 Thought it was funny so decided to post it for your amusement This letter was actually sent by Tesco's Head Office to a customer inOxford:Dear Mrs. Murray,Whilst we would like to thank you for your valued custom and use of theTesco Loyalty Card, the Manager of our store in Banbury is consideringbanning you and your family from shopping with us, unless your husband stopshis antics.Below is a list of his actions over the past few months all verified by oursurveillance cameras:1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people'strolleys when they weren't looking.2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minuteintervals.3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to feminineproducts aisle.4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, 'Code3' in housewares..... and watched what happened..5. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.6. September 15: Set up a tent in the outdoor clothing department and toldshoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring sausages and a Calor gasstove.7. September 23: When the Deputy Manager asked if she could help him, hebegan to cry and asked, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'8.. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror,picked his nose, and ate it.9. October 10: While appearing to be choosing kitchen knives in theHousewares aisle asked an assistant if he knew where the antidepressantswere.10. November 3: Darted around the store suspiciously, loudly humming theMission Impossible' theme.11.November 6: In the kitchenware aisle, practised the 'Madonna look' usingdifferent size funnels.12. November 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed, yelled'PICK ME!' 'PICK ME!'13. November 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, assumedthe foetal position and screamed 'NO! NO! It's those voices again.'And; last, but not least:14. November 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited a while;then yelled, very loudly, 'There is no toilet paper in here.'---Lol at the fact that it says husband so it's a fully grown man doing these things!Good on him!- Sirius Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hendrix Posted April 23, 2009 Report Share Posted April 23, 2009 Oooooold. Funny, but should really be in best of the internet dude. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bendee Posted April 23, 2009 Report Share Posted April 23, 2009 lol at the fact you belive it to be true. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jolfa Posted April 23, 2009 Report Share Posted April 23, 2009 Wow, that's hilarious. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Si-man Posted April 23, 2009 Report Share Posted April 23, 2009 Put condoms in peoples trolleys before. The tomato sauce and alarm clock ones are brilliant though haha! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sirius Posted April 23, 2009 Author Report Share Posted April 23, 2009 lol at the fact you belive it to be true.I never said that I thought it was true... I said I thought it was funny.---@Hendrix, I didn't realise it was old, theres a best of the internet section? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jolfa Posted April 23, 2009 Report Share Posted April 23, 2009 theres a best of the internet section?There's a 486page long thread at the top of this section... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sirius Posted April 23, 2009 Author Report Share Posted April 23, 2009 (edited) There's a 486page long thread at the top of this section...Ah... I didn't see that.Well if any Admins or Mods want to move the thread then thats cool. Edited April 23, 2009 by Sirius Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hendrix Posted April 23, 2009 Report Share Posted April 23, 2009 I never said that I thought it was true... I said I thought it was funny.---@Hendrix, I didn't realise it was old, theres a best of the internet section?I was sent it about 3 years ago I think, by my mum. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sirius Posted April 23, 2009 Author Report Share Posted April 23, 2009 I was sent it about 3 years ago I think, by my mum. Your mums Mrs. Murray?!You mean she showed you the letter?-I'm joking! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JD™ Posted April 23, 2009 Report Share Posted April 23, 2009 I'm joking! YOU'RE FUNNY. WELCOME TO THE PARTY. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hendrix Posted April 23, 2009 Report Share Posted April 23, 2009 Don't mind him, he's a spoil sport. Love you really.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sirius Posted April 23, 2009 Author Report Share Posted April 23, 2009 (edited) YOU'RE FUNNY. WELCOME TO THE PARTY.I'm pleased you think so I'm glad to find that everyone here is so nice ---Also, on another note, does Tom Hemsley post here at all?I've noticed that he's the Registrar for the forum, with domainmonster.com.Just being nosy really lol, I just think it's nice if the owner of a forum posts on there too... and it's just a habit of mine to check the details on any sites I'm signed up too lol. I got that habit from work lol. Edited April 23, 2009 by Sirius Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Revolver Posted April 23, 2009 Report Share Posted April 23, 2009 We have two admins, Danny and Tomturd. I think Danny posts more, but Tom does post sometimes.What do you do for work? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sirius Posted April 23, 2009 Author Report Share Posted April 23, 2009 Oh right, thanks for the update I work for MI5. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tomturd Posted April 23, 2009 Report Share Posted April 23, 2009 Also, on another note, does Tom Hemsley post here at all?Tis I.I do post occasionally, but mainly lurk, moderate, pay bills nowadays.Anyways.. best of the internet (this is me doing the moderating bit) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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