The Childhood Stories Thread

[Joe_Elding]

British bulldogs

Manhunt in the trees and bushes was another mental game. hiding in massive trees or crawling round in the woods trying not to be "on"

How could i of forgot those too gems lol.

Also we used to make wrestling rings by putting our micro scooters in the corners because they were right angles and playing tag team. We got proper violent without realising lol.

And conker fights, two teams about 20 metres away. you were only allowed conkers and you could throw or use a catapult. 10 points for a direct hit, 5 for a bouncer. game over if a car window got smashed.

[Simpson]

We used to play this game ill try to set the scence, 20 mph road with a speed bump.

When you saw a car coming up we all used to run across the other side of the road and pretend to tie a bit of string arround the lampost, then as the car get closer, we would run in front of it pretending to unravel the invisible string, and then when the car got closer the 10 or so of us would all get in a line, and lean back pretending to pull the string.

So many drivers would slam on their brakes, and shout, a few people chased us but there was a park behind it which got locked at 10, so we all used to jump over the massive fence with spikes on the top and then try to look menacing lol good times.

Also 1 summer my friend brought a 250cc quad which had brakes which didnt work, used to gun in arround the woods crashing, building ramps for BMX's and making fires, once brought an industrial sized tin of baked beans and exploded it, which was one of the single most amazing experiences of my life, all of us got covered in tomato sauce lol.

Rolled the quad doing donuts under an acorn tree, landed about 5 foot up in a tree after a misjudged quad jump, bombing it arround shooting BB's at randomers, i remember once someone shot me with a BB gun, so we loaded this quad up with 4-5 people all with dual BB's hunted the bloke down and f**ked him up... always getting chased by wardens, think the worst was when the police came after us, managed to duck the quad under a rail and shot off through the wood path, (which is a 1-2 mile shortcut off the road) and bombed away... good times

[Jolfa]

Me and my mate once noticed this lad (who we didn't like much) s front door was slightly open at his house, so we went into the house, robbed all of his Pogs and made a run for it down the hill on my scooter as the getaway vehicle and hid in the woods - the police were called, we got a bollocking.

We robbed almost all of the brand new books they got in at school and burnt them.

My mate got the game 'Skitchin' on the Mega Drive, and we thought it was a MINT idea, so we thought we'd give it a go, however we couldn't do it quite the same as on the game, so we waited at the bottom of my street for a car to come by. We ended up holding on to the tow bar of a 4x4 for (what seemed like) 5 minutes completely stationary... Obviously we had been seen grabbing on ><

I once pushed my mate sat on a skateboard up the corridor at school which was a good couple of hundred meters long at full pelt, into a door at the bottom of it, which completely smashed the window when he went flying through it we won the 'Everest double glazing award for wantant destruction' for that.

I got taken home from school once for flicking stones off a 15cm ruler at passing vehicles.

I've made 1001 fires that got well out of control, fire engine only ever had to come once though when I set half a field alight..

Can't really think of anymore off the top of my head... Will report back.

once brought an industrial sized tin of baked beans and exploded it, which was one of the single most amazing experiences of my life

You aught to try a tin of paint!

[Si-man]

We used to have the biggest bon fires on earth on the top bit of the park. Council vans and people used to come and dump truck loads of rotting leaves and stuff from the park. We didn't need bin men for about 2 weeks after that as everything from the area was burnt, even next doors new fence because they were arseholes LOL.

Playing on fields on them honda 50 scooters was good fun, staying in a straight line was solid.

Getting off with 3 girls in a bush when I was in year 6, that was probably the best day of my life haha

[Max Quinn]

Awesome thread!

Similair to Anzo'z hiding in my front garden and throwing water balloons and passing cars was always awesome. I used to always take the green bin (garden waste) and full on go inside it. So when a car came near my mate would buzz me on the walkie talkie and i'd pop out and throw a balloon then pop back in haha, tech shit. But obviously i couldnt see what cars were coming so one time it had to be a convertible, your standard fly 25 year old business man got a fat water balloon right in the face! Needless to say he jumped out and started searching around, he went all round where i was and circled the bin but never thought to look in it I was shitting bricks.

Breaking into abandoned places and getting chased out by police was always fun. And when we first started 'tagging' (when we were reeeaallll young and didn't no jack) and would regularly get chased.

Going into The Grove (a 5 star hotel round here with an amazing golf course that Tiger Woods has been to and the England squad stay at when playing London etc) or other golf courses and riding our bikes on 'the jumps' and over the bunkers on the golf courses untill the course warden guy would come out and chase us in a golf buggy Those things actually CHIP.

Fence hopping where you see if you can get from your house to your mates house by staying in back gardens and jumping the fences. I remember when my neighbours security light when off and he came bolting out and went mental.

Fires i'd rather not go into haha.

Endlessly searching for sleeping bums we could jump over like on Tony Hawks (but we would do it on feet cos we couldn't ollie that high).

Seeing how many loops of the mental home grounds we could do without being spotted by the endless security lights etc. And a similair thing in British Waterworks near us which we found a back entrance into. It had revolving cameras, motion sensing lights that would lock onto you etc. It was a whole new level of splinter cell compared to the mental home.

Knock down ginger but the funniest one when my mate knocked on his next door neighbours house, no answer so went back a minute later and she opened the door just as he was about to knock, this kid just broke down crying on the spot

[Simpson]

an amazing golf course that Tiger Woods has been to and the England squad stay at when playing London etc

there was a phase where we used to bust into the fence of the canvey driving range and nick all the balls... thing is some of the people down there are propper crack shots and could hit you from about 250 yards, so one day we had, had enough and grabbed the thousands of balls we had in stock and ran with them all into the driving range in tesco carrier bags, and started launching them all back... good times

[Sam F]

there was a phase where we used to bust into the fence of the canvey driving range and nick all the balls... thing is some of the people down there are propper crack shots and could hit you from about 250 yards, so one day we had, had enough and grabbed the thousands of balls we had in stock and ran with them all into the driving range in tesco carrier bags, and started launching them all back... good times

250 yards.. thats pretty much impossible.. even at 250 yards it wouldn't even be a powerful shot to be honest.

[Dr. Nick Riviera]

Stand on the 250 line and say that after one lamps you in the eye?

[Captain Scarlet]

Corr some old times.

Theres a lad who lives across the road from me, and back in the day from when we was like 3 we had been best mates.

Some years later we both had our 20" kids bikes (we must have been about 8?), and decided to have a race along a stretch of road (from the old fogies to his fence).

Of course me having a geared bike, I had the upper hand, soon taking the lead, eventually reaching the fence and slowing to a stop, shouting "I'm first!".

He on the otherhand got so caught up in pedalling his single gear bike, he forgot to slow down for the fence, still maintaining a good speed and shouted "I'm second!!" followed by the sound of his bike annihilating his fence, bike went straight through it almost cartoon style, and left wood shrapnel everywhere.

I don't know why but it seemed like this kid seemed to destory everything of his, he lived in a really big house, as his nan and grandad also lived there, but we'd always do something like one summer his mum set-up a tent as a means of shade, we went in there and just lazed about after having a run about in the hot sun, what was a small hole in the tent soon became a gaping hole, then his foot went through it, then it was a question of being able to squeeze his whole body through it, and eventually there was no tent left, was a heck of a job trying to convice his mum that the tent just fell apart.

I'm laughing about these moments now, absolutely hilarious how something bad would happen and we'd spend the rest of the day thinking of a logical excuse (which never really worked).

Cor I haven't laughed that hard in years.

Another time was when we was in his garage, always played around with the crap that he had hoarded away in his garage, old matresses and chairs and things, it was a pretty big garage too.

Inside the garage was almost like a loft space, I noticed a conviently placed ladder and soon started to climb it, only when I got to the top I realised that it was his grandads scaffolding set (You know your basic DIY ones that must be about 6-7 feet tall, but in this case it was all packed away and hanging on the wall).

I went to put my foot on the scaffolding set as a support, but it all came away from the wall, crashed down, along with all the stuff in the garage that was sitting in and on it, and when it fell it came forward and knocked off the contents off the oposite shelves in the garage.

Corr I felt so bad that his grandad would have to tidy what was now an incredibly messy garage.

Again, we made a story to cover it, but he wouldn't have any of it, so I just went home.

[Ross McArthur]

I inspired this thread....I feel so pround.

[Dan6061]

Most of us were worse than kids today! haha! Brilliant...

I can't think of any stories to top this lot...

[Revolver]

Not really got many stories. =/

When I was a wee un, we used to live next to this dude with these three proper old, roundy cars, and he used to have all these old bike tyres in his garden, that were cut into just lines, like snakes.

Course when you're a kid, you see summat like that (a HUUUGE pile of them) and you just can't help but nick off with em.

Anyway, me and my brother used to sometimes jump the fence and nick em.

Once though, I went upto the house and in the back window there was this message in which the owner of the house accused a bloke named Trevor of doing 'it', and that he knew it was him, and that he would kill him.

I had a sneaking suspicion that 'it' was people going in his back garden, so the guy musta thought this Trevor was nicking shit.

We didn't do it again =/

[Dan6061]

We didn't do it again =/

His plan worked then...

[DrDoom]

http://jforjustice.co.uk/banksters

[SuperDeathMonkey]

I remember this one time at high school during a break. A Cocacola van drove into the car park (which was also sort of part of the playground). The coke guy got out and slid up the walls of the back of the van (hard to explain). He then started unloading crates of cans for the vending machines. He walked of with a trolley of crates. So me and my group of mates, bout 12 of us all ran up to the van and grabbed a crate each, except for one of my mates who was f**kin massive for his age who grabbed 3. We then ran straight out of the exit of school and went to my house. Got in quite a lot of trouble next day at school but it was funny.

Also there was a phase when everyone started making darts out of drawing pins and paper. We decided to take it one step further and got a 6inch nail and an A3 piece of paper and started throwing it at walls in our drama studio. one of my mates threw it and took a massive chunk out of the wall and then we all started seeing who could get the biggest chunk out. Can't believe we didn't think we'd get in trouble. School was fun could get away with anything.

Edited December 12, 2008 by SuperDeathMonkey

[Jaffacakes]

My parents just ignored me and knew i'd come back. Your parents actually called the police and started a full blown search??? WTF??? lol

I know haha. No idea how long I was gone for, less than a day. I remember it being pitch black when I came out. I'll ask my mum when I next see her. I dissapear for days without her phoning me now...

Also there was a phase when everyone started making darts out of drawing pins and paper.

They f**king hurt, a few years ago at school they were all the rage haha.

In this summer just gone me and my mate were chefing together at the sazbah (easiest place ive ever worked, just pure pub food and free beer when ever you want, I used to work with the guy whose GF owns it) We had a huge fight with them, he stuck me in the sholder and the hand, I got him in the back twice! blood leaking through his whites. Then when we couldnt handle the pain anymore, we started throwing them at the KP he was like 15 and started crying, he never came back!

I remember when I was about 12, a big group of us with water bombs went up to the roof of the porthmeor hotel in the summer. The beach was litrally full of people, we filled 12-14 full size balloons up with water and threw them off hitting so many people...

when I was 9-10 me and my old mate jack threw an egg over my wall and it went in someones sunroof, we were cracking up. Until half a hour later we went to leave my house and 2 police cars and the angry guy whose BMW had egg all over the interior, were all standing in my drive. We very nearly got done for vandalism and assult I think it was...

[Dan6061]

threw an egg over my wall and it went in someones sunroof, we were cracking up.

Nice pun!

[Danny Metcalfe]

Wow,I've laughed so much tonight thanks guys,

In my high school geography was up on the top floor, and we played a game where you had to throw the textbooks out of the window without getting caught,

We had maths and technology teachers coming up and asking why 46 textbooks had flown past there windows,

Mrs Dunne "Daniel Where is your geography book?"

"Ermm Playground miss"

Then the knuckles game where you span a coin and if you didn't catch it you'd get it pelted at your knuckles, then when our knuckles were swollen we'd tilt the table and fling them at Nathan Boyes's head.

Sitting on the back of the field, or in the woods smoking, lighting fires out of the predisposed geography books, getting chased by the home-owners

Pretending to have a W@nk in the back of business.

Sellotaping geeks to 'Mobile' teachers chairs and trying to push them downstairs without being caught, Thank god we always did, perhaps we should've gagged the subjectee

Hide n Seek and tag in school when weather was bad

Giving year 7's wrong directions to there lessons, or just swearing at them

Putting library books into peoples bags and legging it when the alarms went off

Or Playing the game where you shout explitives and the loudest wins

Happy slaps, and smuggling in booze Got me in a little trouble with police

Man I miss school

Oh and in response to snow stuff

My 5 foot Snow Dick...

Had to stop 3 Dogs Pissing on it

[Max Quinn]

I forgot to mention finding a draw hidden under a shrub thing by the local druggie hangout before we really knew what weed was. Me and my friend just ate the lot between us

Eating spiders i found was always my little party trick to 'impress' the ladies aswell

[Simpson]

250 yards.. thats pretty much impossible.. even at 250 yards it wouldn't even be a powerful shot to be honest.

ok maybe 200 yards, i don't play f**king golf, was just always running around the sign that said '250' on it, and if a solid golf ball hits you anywhere at any speed, it f**king hurts

[Sam F]

ok maybe 200 yards, i don't play f**king golf, was just always running around the sign that said '250' on it, and if a solid golf ball hits you anywhere at any speed, it f**king hurts

Well pro's can get 250 pretty easy.. but your average golfer can't really, i know what you mean.. suppose depends where it hits you, in the head though damnnn thats a killer.

[Token]

Well pro's can get 250 pretty easy.. but your average golfer can't really, i know what you mean.. suppose depends where it hits you, in the head though damnnn thats a killer.

Thanks for that.

[Sam F]

That's ok.

6 an half hours to get home from Birmingham. f**k you 'Closed M6'.

Thank's for that.

[Token]

I wish I could be you, oh no wait you correct people on something as f**king stupidly infinitesimal as whether someone can hit a ball 250yds or 200yds, how much of a bumpilot are you? I guess atleast you've all given us a insight to the massively shit life you lead.

[Sam Ward]

Well pro's can get 250 pretty easy.. but your average golfer can't really.

well actually it is pretty easy for an amateur, i used to be a fair weather golfer and could hit 250, and my handicap was the most it could be

pros are more like 350 mate