Greetings Posted December 10, 2008 Report Share Posted December 10, 2008 I told everyone i was 19 on here to fit in and stuff but im actually 49....Daddy? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PaRtZ Posted December 10, 2008 Report Share Posted December 10, 2008 "I didn't sleep with her" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
James Quigley Posted December 10, 2008 Report Share Posted December 10, 2008 ....honestly, that's never happened to me before. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Davetrials Posted December 10, 2008 Report Share Posted December 10, 2008 I sware i didnt no she was a man. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaffacakes Posted December 10, 2008 Report Share Posted December 10, 2008 "I swear, I didnt know how old she was!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Davetrials Posted December 10, 2008 Report Share Posted December 10, 2008 (edited) Edited December 10, 2008 by Hugh Hefner Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aener Posted December 10, 2008 Report Share Posted December 10, 2008 OH NO HE DID NOT! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skoze Posted December 10, 2008 Report Share Posted December 10, 2008 OH NO HE DID NOT!Yep, he went there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrDoom Posted December 10, 2008 Report Share Posted December 10, 2008 http://jforjustice.co.uk/banksters Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BONGO Posted December 10, 2008 Report Share Posted December 10, 2008 I have a large nob Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Duck Posted December 10, 2008 Report Share Posted December 10, 2008 What are the black crosses on the pic?Aliens Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Simpson Posted December 10, 2008 Report Share Posted December 10, 2008 Typical pub shit. "I took on 5 people and slotted it in the net""I f**king smashed the f**k out that little willy""yea ive f**ked her""I've slept with X ammount of girls""Yea i've seen that film"My mates the best for classic 1 linersTold me he fingered my gf (when we wern't going out) AH AH not trueWon 65 down the cassino - next person down said he won 120 - next person said he won the 110 buy in... and said I'm "quite good' at poker... when Im 1000000X better than he could ever be (aka me going all in pre flop with KK him calling with 10-4 off suit and getting a full boat (clown))All massivly flick my wick Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rich J Posted December 10, 2008 Report Share Posted December 10, 2008 Why is there a toilet seat on the moon? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NVWOCI WVS Posted December 10, 2008 Report Share Posted December 10, 2008 "She told me she was 18" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fixed Pants™ Posted December 10, 2008 Report Share Posted December 10, 2008 "She told me she lost her mummy in the supermarket so i took her home for safe keeping' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AdamAllen Posted December 10, 2008 Report Share Posted December 10, 2008 I just got someone to belive this was real.... HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fish-Finger-er Posted December 11, 2008 Report Share Posted December 11, 2008 Typical pub shit. "I've slept with X ammount of girls"Yea, but you notice as you get older, and the more your in female contact, the way it slides the other way, and you just answer "a few" or "around 8".Dunno what my biggest lie is Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ryan. Posted December 11, 2008 Report Share Posted December 11, 2008 last girlfriend didnt know i smoked for 3 yrs of our 3.5 yr relationship, (i told her i had quit for her after a few months of going out)Same here, i smoke but the missus thinks i stopped smoking a month into our relationship. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luke Rainbird Posted December 11, 2008 Report Share Posted December 11, 2008 With all due respect, how thick are your girlfriends?! Where do they think you disappear to repeatedly throughout the night? Why does your face taste cremated?! WHY! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adam-Griffin Posted December 11, 2008 Report Share Posted December 11, 2008 (edited) With all due respect, how thick are your girlfriends?! Where do they think you disappear to repeatedly throughout the night? Why does your face taste cremated?! WHY!Yeah gotta agree here, i've been with my Girlfriend for 3 years and i can't even begin to imagine how hard it would be to hide something like that from here, im with here like 24 hours a day Edit: Would probably be easier to have an affair Edited December 11, 2008 by ™Adam-Griffin™ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mowgli Posted December 11, 2008 Report Share Posted December 11, 2008 With all due respect, how thick are your girlfriends?! Where do they think you disappear to repeatedly throughout the night? Why does your face taste cremated?! WHY!lol, i worked full time then so smoked during the day at work, got home showered ate t (or brushed teeth) then go to hers or her come to me the have one on the drive home at the end of the eve, easy. and hardly smoked at all over the weekends unless with mates and not her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Has anyone seen my shoe? Posted December 11, 2008 Report Share Posted December 11, 2008 Daddy?Corneli, why did you think I named you on msn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ross McArthur Posted December 11, 2008 Report Share Posted December 11, 2008 (edited) Not a lie, but another short story as promised.Ecuador. Early doors in the organisation phase. We knew who was going, we knew each others names by now, not much else. Team building was a buzz word that was flying around quite allot. Fund raising events, Fitness programs, after school meetings and camping trips were all things we were doing to get to know each other before we went away for a month to live in each others pockets. 16 of us I think there were excluding Miss Fulton the hot Geography teacher and the World Challenge leader from the company the program/trip was arranged through all went away, so obviously we all came from different groups of friends. Me being a sporty lad who liked to keep active and being a boy scout with the 13th Abronhill scout group, arranged the circuit training and the "bonding" weekends(not to be confused with "bondage" weekends)lol I had planned it well in advance so most people went excluding the teacher and the world Challenge guy. A camping trip I mean. To the world famous (to a scout) Auchingillan Scout Camp. I new the grounds man Andy by face and he, likewise. His daughter was involved with a World Challenge team at the same time as we were, not being a Scout group he let us use a site for the weekend any way. Giving advice on how to set up tents and how to light fires I could see there was a front of black clouds looming over the nearby hills out towards Glasgow way. A fun time we were all having running around breaking in our 130 quid hill walking boots playing frisby and rounder's burning off the scrumptious hot dogs and stew we had all made for dinner. The cloud was closer by now. You know that warm temperature you feel just before a thunder storm? That, but warmer pushed its self on top of us. I could see what was coming. The spats of rain started to bomb our tents, we heard that before we felt it. Owen having the biggest tent. Most of them pushed there way in there. I had a great wee set up in my tent with my inflatable mattress and tartan rug with my soft sleeping bag on top of that. My tent is ace lol Anyway, after the banter flying between tents about the by now heavy rain, we closed up the doors and tried to put our heads down. By this time it was dark, only because of the covering blackness of the colossal Cumulonimbus. Sleep. Get up, Get up!! I got kicked in the back....what the f**k was that. Flashing lightning, deafening thunder was upon us! No delay between thunder and lightning, which im sure you'll know that means we were right in the middle of a raging battle between wind, rain and the rest of the scary elements involved. I was in my boxers out of my sleeping bag by this point. Im sure I had heard someone shouting "get up to the main building!" We were directly below electricity pylons, not the best situation to be in given the circumstances. I peered out my tent and with the flashes of lightning lighting up the sky every 5 seconds I seen that Ownes tent door was furiously flapping around in the hurricane style winds...it would've took your eye out! I slipped my boots on at the same time as rubbing the sleep out of my eyes, pushed my way out my tent and felt the piercing rain pummel my back and shoulders. I ran, I ran like I was being chased by a pack of hungry wolves. The sleber flying off my bottom lip and floods of water streaming off my brow. I could only see the way by the lightning crashing down hitting the nearest highest pylons. I tried to dodge the lake puddles, occasionally falling into there traps. It poured over the top of my Scarpa's. Half a mile up the hill, through the patch of trees, by the girls toilets I approached the main building where it was lit with the old orange style street lighting around the perimeter. Shelter at last. I slowed to a walking pace panting and puffing with my boxers sticking to my skin and my boots squelching and overflowing. I peered in the door window not a creature did stir. The door was locked, a prisoner to the wet and cold I still was. Shivering by this point I started to wonder...did I just imagine people running around outside my tent? Did I run up here through the fault of my own imagination? Have I gone completely mad?? :-S I had knocked the door, what seemed like ages later a woman from the girl guides leader group appeared form around the kitchen direction inside the building. She must have got a freight finding me there covering my bits, which at that point hadn't been populated by a rug of hair.lol She mouthed, "go round the side". There was a staff entrance with a big old wooden door that creaked even when stationary. I wrapped my white knuckles off the least doggy part of the rotting structure hopping to attract attention of the warden. A friendly face answered the door. It was Ben-One of the boys who came on expedition-fully clothed, the lucky bu**er. I hadn't dreamed it up after all. In I went to be greeted with a itchy bed cover over my shoulders. All the team were sitting on the comfy seats, some more amused than others. The only thing to break the ring of seats around the room was a warm deep orange fire crackling away. Most are silent at this point, stunned by the journey from the by now drenched tents. Bop-it, twist-it, pass it, de ne ne ne ne. The bop-it game had been found by one of the more lively individuals of the team. And if you don't know what that is, its a really annoying game where you have to do what this lump of brightly coloured plastic tells you. Whether it be pull the yellow lever, hit the green button or twist the red twisty thing. Anyway its well annoying and totally out of place in this surreal situation!! Mark, a strange looking chap, was snapping his neck back and forward trying to fight sleep as he sat in the comfiest looking arm chair. The rest listening to the torture machine bopping its way round the room being over powered now and again by the fading thunder. The morning came, the sky was blue, the ground was unsettled due to the draining water. We walked the walk we had ran the night before back to our mobile canvas living quarters to check the damage. Crows by this point had started to scavenge our left over's from the evening before that had found its way out the tents, out the tied plastic bags and all over the grass. What a night to remember....Oh, and im a millionaire Edited December 11, 2008 by Ross McArthur Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Davetrials Posted December 11, 2008 Report Share Posted December 11, 2008 That shit, you went far to indepth and tried to hard.i hate you for making me read that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Towler Posted December 11, 2008 Report Share Posted December 11, 2008 Shut up Hugh Hefner your gf is cheating on you!No, I have to agree with the heff! that is twice you have made me read that story and to think it is all a lie! or is it, if not you have failed this thread.I also hate you for making me read that AGAIN! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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