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Danny Metcalfe

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there were 2 women in a plane one women said we are in a desert and the other women goes how do you know that because my hands all burnt they leave it another hour and the sticks her hand out the window and she said we are in Antarctica the other women goes how do you know that and she goes because she had frost and ice on her hand they leave it another hour and she sticks her hand out the window and she said we are in liverpool and the other women said how do you know that then the other women said because my watch just got nicked

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Jesus is sitting down one day and is visioning the high rate of drug consumption on earth in later years. He thought it was a bit hypocritical of him to condemn them without first trying them himself, so he sent his apostles out to find what drugs they could.

The secret operation is effected and two days later the commissioned Jesus, waiting at the door, hears a knock: "Who is it?" "It's Paul"

Jesus opens the door.

"What did you bring Paul?"

"Hashish from Morocco"

another knock ...

"Who is it?"

"It's Mark"

Jesus opens the door.

"What did you bring Mark?"

"Marijuana from Colombia"

another knock ...

"Who is it?"

"It's Matthew"

Jesus opens the door.

"What did you bring Matthew ?"

"Cocaine from Bolivia"

This continues for a while until finally theres a 12th knock on the door

"Who is it?"

"It's Judas"

Jesus opens the door.

"What did you bring Judas?"

"FBI MOTHERf**kERS!"

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