L Plate Posted November 29, 2008 Report Share Posted November 29, 2008 (edited) Whats the difference between maddie mccan and jesus?Jesus died a virgin.Lol'd i find that funny but some are guan take offence. Edited December 1, 2008 by Krispoats Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bigamac Posted November 30, 2008 Report Share Posted November 30, 2008 (edited) 1. retarded midgits are neither big nor smart. 2. strangers have the best sweets3. a man in his car pulls up next to a small boy - MAN: if i give you a sweety, will you come in my car?BOY: give me the whole packet and i'll cum in your mouth.First two arent really jokes, but they all made me LOL Gary glitter?EDIT: One more sick joke 1) How do you make a dead baby float? Take your foot off of it's head. Edited December 1, 2008 by Krispoats Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danny Metcalfe Posted November 30, 2008 Author Report Share Posted November 30, 2008 What do you call 20 chavs at the bottom of a lake?A start Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RETROLEO Posted November 30, 2008 Report Share Posted November 30, 2008 (edited) two chavs walking through the rainforest in australia.and theres a crocodile on the side of the river with a mans head in its mouth.one chav says to the other, look at that rich kid in his lacoste sleeping bag. What do you call 20 chavs at the bottom of a lake?A startyehhbut what do you call 1 chav on the moon? problem 2 chavs on the moon? bigger problem.all the chavs on the moon? problem solved. Edited November 30, 2008 by RETROLEO Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lil pads Posted November 30, 2008 Report Share Posted November 30, 2008 Why does a Prostitute wear knickers To keep their ankles warmhehe Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danny Metcalfe Posted November 30, 2008 Author Report Share Posted November 30, 2008 yehhbut what do you call 1 chav on the moon? problem 2 chavs on the moon? bigger problem.all the chavs on the moon? problem solved.But,If 2 chavs are in a car who should be driving?The police. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lil pads Posted November 30, 2008 Report Share Posted November 30, 2008 (edited) funny namesTess Tickle Robin BanksNick FerriaMich Rock Mich Ox Long Edited November 30, 2008 by lil pads Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RETROLEO Posted November 30, 2008 Report Share Posted November 30, 2008 funny namesTess Tickle Robin BanksNick FerriaMich Rock Mich Ox Long afelia balls.betty swolocks. mary hinge.lawl Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrissyh08 Posted November 30, 2008 Report Share Posted November 30, 2008 Al-Queda have planted a bomb in some spaghetti hoops,If it blows up it could spell disaster.! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Julius Czar Posted November 30, 2008 Report Share Posted November 30, 2008 Three very fashion conscious kids go camping by a lake, Jon, James, and jack. Jack needs a piss, but the public toilet is miles away, so he decides to go for one in the lake. 30 minutes later, Jon and James are wondering where jack has got to, so James goes round to find him, and finds him neck deep in a crocodile’s mouth, James shouts to Jon, "Jon look, Jack's got a Lacoste sleeping bag!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RETROLEO Posted November 30, 2008 Report Share Posted November 30, 2008 two chavs walking through the rainforest in australia.and theres a crocodile on the side of the river with a mans head in its mouth.one chav says to the other, look at that rich kid in his lacoste sleeping bag. iv just told that one Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Julius Czar Posted November 30, 2008 Report Share Posted November 30, 2008 iv just told that one Oh, lol sorry, didnt notice that one Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lil pads Posted November 30, 2008 Report Share Posted November 30, 2008 afelia balls.betty swolocks. mary hinge.lawlAlpha Kenny Body Hug JassMich hunt Fu king Dill DoeBen Dover Iver Dick Isaac CoxIva BiggunI.P. Freely I.P. DailyIvana Humpalot Mr. Bates see man stains R. SwipeR. SoleJuwanna HookerMore funny names Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gogz- Posted November 30, 2008 Report Share Posted November 30, 2008 (edited) Al-Queda have planted a bomb in some spaghetti hoops,If it blows up it could spell disaster.!soz but that's slightly wrong (alferbetty spaghetti) Edited November 30, 2008 by Gogz- Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dan6061 Posted November 30, 2008 Report Share Posted November 30, 2008 My mate sent me this the other week:I'm so pissed off! I was doing my bit for the community by looking after three retards for the day. One's ran off to McDonalds, the others at KFC, and where the f**k did you go!?Sorry if it offends... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bigamac Posted November 30, 2008 Report Share Posted November 30, 2008 What does a blonde have in common with the United States Army?They're open to any man between the ages of eighteen and thirty-five. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mikey Tomo Posted November 30, 2008 Report Share Posted November 30, 2008 what do you call a russian with 3 balls?whoja nikabolokovwhat do you call a gay dinosaur?megasauras (mega sore arse)what do you call a lesbian dinosaur?lickalotapus Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mikey Tomo Posted November 30, 2008 Report Share Posted November 30, 2008 How many lawyers does it take to change a lightbulb? Such number as may be deemed necessary to perform the stated task in a timely and efficient manner within the strictures of the following agreement: Whereas the party of the first part, also known as "The Lawyer," and the party of the second part, also known as "The Light Bulb," do hereby and forthwith agree to a transaction wherein the party of the second part (Light Bulb) shall be removed from the current position as a result of failure to perform previously agreed upon duties, i.e., the lighting, elucidation, and otherwise illumination of the area ranging from the front (north) door, through the entry way, terminating at an area just inside the primary living area, demarcated by the beginning of the carpet, any spill-over illumination being at the option of the party of the second part (Light Bulb) and not required by the aforementioned agreement between the parties. The aforementioned removal transaction shall include, but not be limited to, the following steps: The party of the first part (Lawyer) shall, with or without elevation at his option, by means of a chair, step stool, ladder or any other means of elevation, grasp the party of the second part (Light Bulb) and rotate the party of the second part (Light Bulb) in a counter-clockwise direction, said direction being non-negotiable. Said grasping and rotation of the party of the second part (Light Bulb) shall be undertaken by the party of the first part (Lawyer) with every possible caution by the party of the first part (Lawyer) to maintain the structural integrity of the party of the second part (Light Bulb), notwithstanding the aforementioned failure of the party of the second part (Light Bulb) to perform the aforementioned customary and agreed upon duties. The foregoing notwithstanding, however, both parties stipulate that structural failure of the party of the second part (Light Bulb) may be incidental to the aforementioned failure to perform and in such case the party of the first part (Lawyer) shall be held blameless for such structural failure insofar as this agreement is concerned so long as the non-negotiable directional codicil (counter-clockwise) is observed by the party of the first part (Lawyer) throughout. Upon reaching a point where the party of the second part (Light Bulb) becomes separated from the party of the third part ("Receptacle"), the party of the first part (Lawyer) shall have the option of disposing of the party of the second part (Light Bulb) in a manner consistent with all applicable state, local and federal statutes. Once separation and disposal have been achieved, the party of the first part (Lawyer) shall have the option of beginning installation of the party of the fourth part ("New Light Bulb"). This installation shall occur in a manner consistent with the reverse of the procedures described in step one of this self-same document, being careful to note that the rotation should occur in a clockwise direction, said direction also being non-negotiable. NOTE: The above described steps may be performed, at the option of the party of the first part (Lawyer), by said party of the first part (Lawyer), by his heirs and assigns, or by any and all persons authorized by him to do so, the objective being to produce a level of illumination in the immediate vicinity of the aforementioned front (north) door consistent with maximization of ingress and revenue for the party of the fifth part. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bigamac Posted November 30, 2008 Report Share Posted November 30, 2008 (edited) Baby death jokes....What's blue and flies around the room at high speeds? A baby with a punctured lung.What's red, bubbly, and scratches at the window before exploding? A baby in a microwave.Why is there always hot water at childbirth? In case of a stillbirth, soup.What is the definition of revenge? A baby with a dog in its mouth.How are babies and the elderly alike? Both are fun to throw out of moving cars.What's worse than finding 7 dead babies in 1 trash can? Finding 1 dead baby in 7 trash cans. Edited December 1, 2008 by Krispoats Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bigamac Posted November 30, 2008 Report Share Posted November 30, 2008 How many lawyers does it take to change a lightbulb?Effort?! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ben Cox Posted November 30, 2008 Report Share Posted November 30, 2008 (edited) right, id better put a warning on these, these may offend you! if you dont like non pc jokes, apart from the fact you shouldnt be reading this thread... dont read my jokes!!!Still wanna read em??Really??Madonna always said she loves our culture and wants to be more british. Well, now she's a single mum with three kids, one of them a of african origin... Transformation complete!Halifax anounced today, as a result of the current share collapse... No more annoying tv ads. The four eyed african bloke howard will be resuming normal duties with immediate effect, picking bananas whilst singing "dayo" and the little singing chinese gentleman is back behind the chippy counter- Thank f**k for the credit crunch!Was in asda the other day with a full trolley, a little old lady was behind me in the queue, she only had a pint of milk, so i said "is that all you've got love?" She said yes, so i said "if i were you i'd f**k off then! im going to be ages!"Thank you and goodnight... Edited November 30, 2008 by Ben Cox Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danny Metcalfe Posted November 30, 2008 Author Report Share Posted November 30, 2008 right, id better put a warning on these, these may offend you! if you dont like non pc jokes, apart from the fact you shouldnt be reading this thread... dont read my jokes!!!Still wanna read em??Really??Madonna always said she loves our culture and wants to be more british. Well, now she's a single mum with three kids, one of them a coon... Transformation complete!Halifax anounced today, as a result of the current share collapse... No more annoying tv ads. The four eyed nigger howard will be resuming normal duties with immediate effect, picking bananas whilst singing "dayo" and the little chinky twat is back behind the chippy counter- Thank f**k for the credit crunch!Don't get racist man.Ruins the Thread.I Clearly posted No Racist jokes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skoze Posted November 30, 2008 Report Share Posted November 30, 2008 Not offending me personally, but remember that rules exist, Benjamin What's tragic about three chavs going over a cliff in a Fiesta?A Fiesta can seat five. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ben Cox Posted November 30, 2008 Report Share Posted November 30, 2008 Don't get racist man.Ruins the Thread.I Clearly posted No Racist jokes.edited to make more pc... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danny Metcalfe Posted November 30, 2008 Author Report Share Posted November 30, 2008 In fairness though, It is a criminal offence.You never know who could be reading this post. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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