Danny Metcalfe Posted November 28, 2008 Report Share Posted November 28, 2008 What's your best joke?Did you get a good one sent as a text?Post them hear for a few laughs.It goes without saying though:No Racist JokesNo Sexist JokesNo Offensive JokesNo Jokes That Could Get You Into TroubleAnd No Lame Jokes Joke 1) What do you call a dog with metal testicles, and no hind legs?Sparky Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cresswell_d Posted November 29, 2008 Report Share Posted November 29, 2008 It goes without saying though:No Racist JokesNo Sexist JokesNo Offensive JokesNo Jokes That Could Get You Into TroubleAnd No Lame Jokes well thats all of my jokes gone out of the window Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
L Plate Posted November 29, 2008 Report Share Posted November 29, 2008 well thats all of my jokes gone out of the windowLol same Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mtchell Posted November 29, 2008 Report Share Posted November 29, 2008 No jokes getting posted here then i suppose if i want a laugh ill text 118 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Revolver Posted November 29, 2008 Report Share Posted November 29, 2008 What do you call a dog with metal testicles, and no hind legs?SparkyThought you said no lame jokes... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mtchell Posted November 29, 2008 Report Share Posted November 29, 2008 (edited) A lady was walking past a pet store when a parrot said, ''Hey, lady! You're really ugly!" The lady was furious and continued on her way.On the way home, she passed by the petstore again and the parrot once more said "Hey, lady! You're really ugly!" She was incredibly pissed off now, so she went into the store and said that she would sue the store and kill the bird. The store manager apologized profusely and promised he would make sure the parrot didn't say it again.The next day, she deliberately passed by the store to test the parrot. "Hey, lady!" it said."Yes?""You know." Edited November 29, 2008 by New2it 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andrex Posted November 29, 2008 Report Share Posted November 29, 2008 How do you get a nun pregnant?Rape 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PaRtZ Posted November 29, 2008 Report Share Posted November 29, 2008 what you call a chav in a box?innitwhat do you call a chav in a filing cabinet?sortedWhy did the mountaineer get lost?Because he was a scalar Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mtchell Posted November 29, 2008 Report Share Posted November 29, 2008 what you call a chav in a box?innitwhat do you call a chav in a filing cabinet?sortedWhy did the mountaineer get lost?Because he was a scalarhaha Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barbara Logan-Price Posted November 29, 2008 Report Share Posted November 29, 2008 Dear Jonathon rossI've recently shagged your daughter who's laughing now........lots of love Gary Glitter x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mike137 Posted November 29, 2008 Report Share Posted November 29, 2008 Got this one last night...Just got back, f**k me that hotel murder mystery weekend in mumbai was a bit over the f**king top!Ill get my coat :$ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lil pads Posted November 29, 2008 Report Share Posted November 29, 2008 A man walked into a bar ow what do a slinky and a chav have in common There both completely pointless and it fun to watch them fall down stairs Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luke_zoo Posted November 29, 2008 Report Share Posted November 29, 2008 Joke 1:Im @ the police station now beeing done 4 drink driving. Uriane smaple was positive so i nicked the sample. They are now doing me 4 taking the piss.Joke 2:This DOG is a good DOGway to keep DOG a foolDOG busy !Read this agen without dog !ha ha Joke 3:BBC News reports a wild, mentaly retarded, ugly f**ker on the loose. £1.000.000 reward. You know I need the money, where the f**k are you?Joke 4:Do me a favour and text me right back, just say hello or somethin! My mates dont believe retards can text! We'll show the f**kers Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
white-lightning Posted November 29, 2008 Report Share Posted November 29, 2008 Man waits out side a pub called "The queens legs" at 10 in the morning. A police man comes past and says to the man "what are you hanging around here for?" the man replys "well im waiting for the queens legs to open to have a drink" . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tutzz. Posted November 29, 2008 Report Share Posted November 29, 2008 just got this in a text like 10mins ago;what do you call a bear with a hole through its body?A POLO-BEAri think thats a bit gay lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bigamac Posted November 29, 2008 Report Share Posted November 29, 2008 (edited) 1) What do u say to a chav with a job?Big Mac Please!2) Two chavs jump off a cliff. Who wins? Society.3) What gets louder as it gets smaller?A baby in a trash compactor.4) How do you stop a baby from crawling in circles?Put a nail in its other hand.EDIT: first two made me laugh Edited December 1, 2008 by Krispoats Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mikey Tomo Posted November 29, 2008 Report Share Posted November 29, 2008 (edited) 6 truths of life :1. You cannot touch all your teeth with your tounge.2. All idiots after reading the first truth, try it.3. The first truth is a lie.4. You're smiling now because your an idiot.5. You soon will forward this to another idiot.6. Theres still a stupid smile on your face!!! Edited November 29, 2008 by Mikey Tomo 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaffacakes Posted November 29, 2008 Report Share Posted November 29, 2008 Its funny 'cause its true Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gogz- Posted November 29, 2008 Report Share Posted November 29, 2008 6 truths of life :1. You cannot touch all your teeth with your tounge.2. All idiots after reading the first truth, try it.3. The first truth is a lie.4. You're smiling now because your an idiot.5. You soon will forward this to another idiot.6. Theres still a stupid smile on your face!!! i like that LOL! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danny Metcalfe Posted November 29, 2008 Author Report Share Posted November 29, 2008 I Was walking down the road other day,And I saw someone stealing your gate.I would have said something but I thought he Might take a-fence Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luke_zoo Posted November 29, 2008 Report Share Posted November 29, 2008 News: 3 Chimps escaped from the zoo... 1 was caught watching tv... another playing football and the third one was caught reading this txt message God made man and then rested. God made women and then no one rested The longest sentence known to man: "I do." CNN News. Bush orders 15,000 FBI trained dogs to track down Osama. FBI awaiting further orders as one of the dogs is reading this Crime doesn't pay...Does that mean my job is a crime? This dog, is dog, a dog, good dog, way dog, to dog, keep dog, an dog, idiot dog, busy dog, for dog, 20 dog, seconds dog! ... Now read without the word dog. Why were males created before females?Cos you always need a rough draft before the final copy. I want to suck you... lick you... wanna move my tongue all over you...wanna feel you in my mouth...yep, tat's how u...eat an ice cream! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RETROLEO Posted November 29, 2008 Report Share Posted November 29, 2008 what do you call a russian hooker?knickersoffalot. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sam-Addy A3 Posted November 29, 2008 Report Share Posted November 29, 2008 (edited) 1. retarded midgits are neither big nor smart. 2. strangers have the best sweets3. a man in his car pulls up next to a small boy - MAN: if i give you a sweety, will you come in my car?BOY: give me the whole packet and i'll cum in your mouth.First two arent really jokes, but they all made me LOL Edited November 29, 2008 by Sam-Addy A3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nazzurro19 Posted November 29, 2008 Report Share Posted November 29, 2008 what do you call a 1000 Nun'sA Virgin Megastore Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ashley-Wood Posted November 29, 2008 Report Share Posted November 29, 2008 (edited) Whats the difference between maddie mccan and jesus?Jesus died a virgin. Edited December 1, 2008 by Krispoats Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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