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Some Old Dudes In London Are Pretty f**king Weird.


Mark W

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I didn't really know where else to post this, and I thought some people on here might be interested that I got to see some old dude's shit coming out of his side.

Anyway.

The intention for today had been to go and ride Cantelowes bowl. However, me dropping my keys down a manhole (See Angry Thread) and taking an hour to find them whilst being wrist-deep in shit kinda screwed that idea up. We nibbled Southbank for a bit, then headed south to Kennington Bowl, whereupon we got locked in the park. Not so good. Climbed out over the fence, saw a woman with a pram stuck inside the other half of the park, who said she didn't want any help to get out when we asked if she wanted a hand.

We decided to head back to Southbank 'cos it was looking like it was going to rain/it's kinda fun to ride there, and we rode some little nibble-spots in Elephant and Castle.

We got to the infamous Marv-face-breaking bank-to-rail spot by Elephant leisure centre, when we started to get gently heckled by a tramp sitting on a wall drinking a bottle of White Stripe.

Classy.

He heckled us a bit more, during which time Mike's (person I was riding with) temper was reduced to virtually nothing, and he started heckling the tramp and so on. When the tramp realised that Mike wasn't happy, he asked Mike to go over to him. Tim and I were standing by the rail, watching this happen. The tramp pulled up his shirt and pulled his trousers down a bit, causing Tim to drop a 'WTF' and me to drop a 'LOL'. Anyway, having been given a 'show' by the old dude, Mike came over, and told us the guy had a hole in his stomach and that his "insides" were coming out. He'd apparently been sleeping in a phonebox and some dude had come up and stabbed him in the stomach and sliced across a bit.

Being the kind souls we are, we called for an ambulance. Eventually a first-responder guy on a motorbike turns up, and starts talking to the guy. It turns out that this guy is a regular, and that he had been stabbed months ago causing him to need a colostomy bag. The guy is too lazy to go to the doctor's surgery every day to have it changed, and so what he does is wait until it fills up so much it splits, then does what he did to us and gets people to call an ambulance for him under the pretence of having been stabbed.

That was kinda it really, but yeah, I got to see an old dude literally lose his shit today. Good times.

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where are the photos :P

Thats pretty well erm disturbing! It also pisses me of a bit due to the fact that he does this to people to get attention!

Maybe we can hunt him down on the next london ride and get some photos :P

i see some old guy fall off of a bike once and rip half of his face off, ended up covered in blood and after thinking he was dead and then chocking on the blood he had in his throat i was sort of disturbed! he broke his nose knocked his teeth out and literaly pulled half of his face off, he then got up and tried to walk home! with many paramedicts trying to get him to the hospital. there was so much blood it trickled down the gutter and down a drain!

I dont know how you reacted to what you saw but i was pretty erm shook up is the word! It bever looks like what you see on TV!

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You dont need a doctor to change a colostomy bag.

So long as you've got a spare you can do it yourself.

pretty weird that this guy would heckle people for an ambulance instead of just going there himself and getting some replacements.

I thought hobo's were like the rest of us but without a home, I guess not.

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Some people in London are wierd, waiting for the tube to go Camden once and there was just some tramp standing there with piss pouring out the bottom of his trouser leg... he just stood there with a bemused smile.... f**king strange! Pah, don't be too judgemental though sure they all have there reasons and that

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I thought hobo's were like the rest of us but without a home, I guess not.

Nah, some of them have got problems. There was one in Lancaster who was known to everyone, partly because he was always around but mostly because you could smell him from ten paces. Anyway, it later transpired that he owned a £300k house and a yacht and just one day decided to become homeless :S

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Nah, some of them have got problems. There was one in Lancaster who was known to everyone, partly because he was always around but mostly because you could smell him from ten paces. Anyway, it later transpired that he owned a £300k house and a yacht and just one day decided to become homeless :S

That's just odd. :ermm:

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Nah, some of them have got problems. There was one in Lancaster who was known to everyone, partly because he was always around but mostly because you could smell him from ten paces. Anyway, it later transpired that he owned a £300k house and a yacht and just one day decided to become homeless :S

There is a bloke like that who used to be on the train on the way home from work, he had a very nice victorian house in a pretty nice area of the town, nice cars kids ect. a few of us spoke to him and asked him why he didnt live at home, he said because he has worked hard all of his life and he can now go out and drink untill he cant remember his name, fall asleap in a doorway but also has a house to go home to.

Odd in a way but opens your eyes a bit chatting to one!

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