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What Grinds Your Gears?


Dan Clark

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People who don't indicate whilst driving make me very upset. The same sort of person seem to go mad if you start to set off at a round about because of the lack of indication you asume they are going to take the next exit. f**kin cocknoshers.

Police around here generally drive a lot faster than the speed limit, i followed on out of burnley town centre and he was doin 50 mph in a 30 zone, something tells me if he would have been following me I would have been told off.

chavs telling me my car is a piece of shit, I'm like 'what the f**k? You have no car to compare you scumbag'

Hang-overs arn't at the top of my favorites list either.

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Family Gatherings.

Having spent most of the day bored out of my skull, todays family gathering was only slightly redeemed by catching the end of Police Academy 4.

I guess it's just the age gap which annoys me. My cousins are 15, max, and are OK untill they think they're really cool and original, when infact I think every 15 year old as made thier own Jackass video...

My elder relatives, well, I have nothing in common with them, except that some part of my DNA is fairly similar to some of theirs. They seem to forget I am 18 and do not have the faintest clue about Margaret Thatcher, because I was not born then, so asking me what I thought about her, was probably not a good way of involving me in any form of engaging conversation.

I'm usually pretty good at getting out of them, I work Saturday and Sunday, and these events are never during the week, so I'm home free. By some terrible co-incidense, I had the weekend off work. Excelent I thought, I can go out with my friends, and endure a well deserved hang over Sunday. Not so as my mother kindly informs me that at 9 this morning we would be treking into Richmond just to meet up with said relatives, which distroyed my plans entirely, as that meant I could not stay at the friends house I had allready organised.

Why could you possibly want to have a massive event invloving 20+ family members, and then decide that having one 18 attend, with no-one in thier age group 3 years either side, would be an enjoyable or exhilarating experience.

Dammit.

your 18 say jog on mom im on me bike

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girls who fart - so unattractive

not having time for a gf

not being able to sleep despite having to get up at 7

My armpits still smelling after 2 consecutive showers

being crap a scheduling my work load

my ankle still being gay and weak almost a year after the injury (should have probably done the physio)

money - everyones issue (mainly constantly wanting new things and not having the funding)

broken bikes

slow drivers

dance/trance/r&B/hip hop/techno/all that other crap music

growing old

finger cramps

I could go on forever, as could most of us.

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Ok what grinds my gears?

Cheating/Lying girls.

Trying to explain your way around an argument on msn with some thick shit that keeps using the same argument although you have explained your way around it 10 times, then you get all hot and annoyed trying to make them understand.

Penny sweats, WHY?

People that breath heavily especially when i am tired.

Being touched when I'm angry.

Hypocritical people.

Those funking retarded wank stain 'Jehovah's whitenesses'. Who the f**k are they to tell me what to believe in?

Old people that think that its courtesy for me to move behind my Friend when passing them on the pavement, but when its them with somebody they try to make me go onto the road. WTF you stupid bints my shoulders are going to blow yours away if your trying to go for a shoulder barge!!

Tissues, basically i am going to explain my phobia as nobody seems to understand. Basically, i can't eat near a tissue full stop. I can't touch OTHER PEOPLES tissues even if they have not been used. I refuse to go near a scrunched up tissue, and i will not even touch a tissue i have used once it has left my hand.

School newsletters, if your a head-teacher, get it into your head nobody is taking them home to their f**king 'rents!

Chav's that buy shitty trials riders and call them selves trials riders even though all they do is sit next to their bike or ride along side their mates Apollo BMX, getting in peoples way and giving trials a bad name.

This f**king wanker that lives near me that, everyday, cains it down the main road near me, wearing only a t-shirt and some combat style trousers or shorts, and also not wearing any gloves. On this night rider style (back-end chopped of) motorbike.

The bebo/MSN section:

Stupid girls that talk about bebo with their friends as if its some massive part of their life. 'oh my god i was on beebs the other day, it was sooo good'.

Stupid wank-stains that have 'please comment my piccys on beebs' in the MSN display names, or even worse.. when they make some sort paragraph like, 'hey, please comment my bebo, thankyou baby', then copy and paste it to all their contacts.

Ohhh and on the topic of Internet things, people that actualy say 'lol' and 'oh my god' in real life.

I f**king hate girls that take 10,000 pictures of themselves with their shitty webcams in the same positions slightly changing the facial expression and i especially hate 'pouting'.

Being added by people that don't even know me saying 'hey, ASL?' or even worse adding me then saying, 'who's dis?'. f**k YOU IF YOU DON'T KNOW ME OR HAVE A GOOD REASON FOR ADDING ME, DON'T!!!

I hate the way my English teacher is so irresistibly cute, and good looking.

I hate people that crunch their crisps up and tip them into their mouth. WERE NOT f**kING ANIMALS.

Waiting 2 hours to get through to some kind of customer care.

Answer machines!

Well ill keep updating as i think of more, as all those things f**k me right off.

my god that was the best thing i ever read it was so funny yet so much is true. Im the same witha condom as you are tissues apart from the if someone else has had it i dont touch it i dont do that anyways but i have to have the lady put it on otherwise ill cry.

I hate how you could buy all your bike parts for a new bike but some how will enter a problem even though it should all go together like alkieda (sp) and bombs

I hate my mouth lol i get ulscers so much and i dont know why went to the doc and he said drink more orange juice but i cant get enough of it

How you have to go to the gym to look good lol

How ide do anything to be with my old english teacher shame she said shes to old for me when i was in detention.

How my rents wont let me sort my own stuff out E.g if i get a dent in my car i sort it in my own time not have them shagging my ankles for me to do it.

How hope hubs are shit and have always skipped on me in big gaps and hurt me.

How someone emails your zoo sponsor and says you have sold all the bikes deng gave you to them so that he doesnt sponsor you no more when you have the mod in your room and the stock in the garage and you have done noting wrong.

How chavs and people who beat there gfs to f**k get the bare bare bare fit girls and they f**k them over shag other people but they sty with them but someone willing to do anything for them is 5 mins late and they ever want to see them again and go back to there ex for a good kick in.

When my rear brake is so loud but in a matter of half hour the noise has gone but i dont know why.

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The bebo/MSN section:

Stupid girls that talk about bebo with their friends as if its some massive part of their life. 'oh my god i was on beebs the other day, it was sooo good'.

Stupid wank-stains that have 'please comment my piccys on beebs' in the MSN display names, or even worse.. when they make some sort paragraph like, 'hey, please comment my bebo, thankyou baby', then copy and paste it to all their contacts.

Ohhh and on the topic of Internet things, people that actualy say 'lol' and 'oh my god' in real life.

I f**king hate girls that take 10,000 pictures of themselves with their shitty webcams in the same positions slightly changing the facial expression and i especially hate 'pouting'.

Being added by people that don't even know me saying 'hey, ASL?' or even worse adding me then saying, 'who's dis?'. f**k YOU IF YOU DON'T KNOW ME OR HAVE A GOOD REASON FOR ADDING ME, DON'T!!!

ditto that mate! i could gladly pumble them all in the faces repeatedly untill they died a horrible death! It annoys me SO much!

it pisses me off so much i have stopped using MSN, my girlfriends sister showed me some thing on myspace once and the pople on there thought they were so cool because they had a stella in thier hand and a fag in thier mouth! come the f**k on! you look like a tosser! I havent even bothered looking on bebo or whatever else the others are!

My friends are like "get msn and myspace and i can talk to you on there" if you want to talk to me that bad, phone mefor feck sake!

Bloody self loving dick faced arse minded willy chewing fecktards!!!!

ah that feels better :) ...

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Young girls (like my niece) at the age of about 13, when they say things like 'I aint a kid, I know what Im doing' when it comes to drinking WKD. What I really want is an older girl to smack her round the face an give her a reality check. God help her boyfriend, if shes stupid enough to bring one home, he's gona look like a ugly b*****d by the time he leaves.

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I hate the fact that my nan that smoked around 40 fags a day stole from my mom when my dad and mom was together in there younger days never spoke to me had pics of her daughters kid up but not any of my dad her sons kids and he has 4. Always gave my cousin money and stuff and gave me a pair of gloves for my birthday. I mean gloves what the foook out lived my grandad who was my hero never ever did nothing wrong was most amazing person i can think of ad always made people smile.

There was no tears at her funeral

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Big gay faggots with missions and stuff and say 'I want to get a zoo python frame when i got enough money!' or they use a picture of tartybikes zoo python as there display picture because they think thats the only bike around thats good..

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Big gay faggots with missions and stuff and say 'I want to get a zoo python frame when i got enough money!' or they use a picture of tartybikes zoo python as there display picture because they think thats the only bike around thats good..

that is the only good bike isnt it

lol only joking i hate mod for a start lol/

Also anoyingyou get people from your area like 13 to 15 and they add you saying they saw you and have like your name in there name e.g Beau is sick on a bike blug g hes way better than you. Then they ay they do trials and you being nice say cool what bike you ide and they show you like an apollo full sus bike and you say thats a full sus and they go skitts at you

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Girls, usually under 16, who stand in the most unconvinient place on skate parks, an scream when a bike comes near them. Reeeally annoying.

girls who go to a skatepark at all without skating, or even having a skateboard

or anyone else at a skatepark without a skateboard

it's bad enough how much skaters got in the way when i bmxed

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What does that mean?

Died in a fire?

This girl is grinding my gears....

First I basically tell her that we can't be a couple, which she was like 'oh right.... were still friends right?' an then she said 'can we go to lunch like just as friends?' So I thought there can't be any harm in doing that so I said yeah, an then she said 'okay your paying!'

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Them shit same old conversations you have on msn that go along the lines of.

Hey

Howz u?

Wuu2?

kool, wuu2 at the weekend?

:angry::angry::angry::angry:

EDIT for scopse: Just go there with her be friendly, and order yourself something to eat, then when she asks where hers is just say "You said i was paying, you never said who i was paying for." And continue to eat :)

Edited by Barber
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Girls, usually under 16, who stand in the most unconvinient place on skate parks, an scream when a bike comes near them. Reeeally annoying.

there was loads of them up at the plaza on saturday and some kid launched his skateboard up a ramp and it flew through the air and slammed one of them in the mouth, I nearly died laughing at her, made me feel warm inside

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