Im Having A "quater Life" Crisis

[munkee]

Last few months i have been feeling completely bollocks with everything, uni, life, relationships.. the whole works... however thanks to a friend i have found out whats wrong. I'm having a quarter life crisis! and i dont know what i can do to fix it. For those of you not old enough to know what one is.. or for people who just dont know:

Characteristics of quarter-life crisis may include:

• feeling "not good enough" because one can't find a job that is at one's academic/intellectual level
• frustration with relationships, the working world, and finding a suitable job or career
• confusion of identity
• insecurity regarding the near future
• insecurity regarding present accomplishments
• re-evaluation of close interpersonal relationships
• disappointment with one's job
• nostalgia for university, college, high school or elementary school life
• tendency to hold stronger opinions
• boredom with social interactions
• financially-rooted stress
• loneliness
• desire to have children
• a sense that everyone is, somehow, doing better than you

Wiki linkage: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Quarter-life_crisis

Anyone else been through this shit and know what to do to help fix it?

Edited February 20, 2008 by Spacemunkee

[M-i-t-c-h]

i did reckon i had a similar feeling about a year ago, power through! get on you bike and ride, it works wonders!

[Haz]

Soon scientists will decide that life is just one big crisis, I can't wait for that moment.

I think it's one of those things you'll have to motor through, find something that you enjoy doing at use that to take your mind of things.

[MadManMike]

Soon scientists will decide that life is just one big crisis

Life is just one big crisis.

[Revolver]

Life is just one big crisis.

[Adam-Griffin]

Go on a holiday, 6 weeks in ibiza maybe ?

[Simpson]

[*]financially-rooted stress

Yea.... just to go Ibiza, solve everything

[Adam-Griffin]

Yea.... just to go Ibiza, solve everything

Might help :$ Sun, sand, sea beer, all that sort of stuff, the thought of a holiday makes be happy right now.

Didn't see the bit about Money either.

And Lol at Anal.

Edited February 20, 2008 by Adam-Griffin

[Peperami]

Know what you mean mate, felt proper stuck in a rut just before xmas.

Am sorting a new job out, and got back into riding trials and xc after a big lay-off, so keeping myself busy.

You just need to find new things that interest you.

[Ash-Kennard]

for some reason i feel exactly the same, no idea what i want to do, can't get a job, no money, being generally pretty lairy recently. its shit

[anzo]

Quarter life crisis? What a load of shit

Basically LIFE. Everyone has financial problems, everyone is disappointed by their jobs, most people don't feel good enough, most people which they were back in school...most people however, don't bitch and moan about it forever and simply accept it as 'the way it is'.

I think everyone would want to land the dream job and be admired with loads of money...its not called a quarter life crisis, its called being a mardy f**ker.

Anything is possible and your obviously not making an effort; which is why you spend 90% of your time on TF, why your misrable with what you have (some people have nothing) and why people give this 'depression' a clinical name.

Not just talking about Supermunkee, but the majority of the forum who always make posts about why their luck is so tough.

Edited February 20, 2008 by anzo

[ben_travis]

anzo - spot on

edit: except he left out that i am god, and will one day rule you all officially, rather than whether you believe in me or not.

Edited February 20, 2008 by ben_travis

[djb]

I wouldn't normally reply in a thread like this because an open forum is not in my opinion the best place to be discussing life issues but the replies from Anzo, Ben and Anal Teflon are I feel very strong, immature and inconsiderate.

I'm probably going to get flamed for this but it's an issue that I can closely relate to and suggestions to commit suicide, however light hearted they may be, and calling the person a "mardy f**cker" are neither helpful or appropriate.

At the moment I’m going through a pretty tough time, a combination of work and personal issues has pushed me to the point where life just seems too much effort and I would say that I can relate to all of the points in the first post.

Yes it is just life and it probably isn't all that bad but there are a lot of people out there who for whatever reason can't cope with life's challenges, however big or small, as well as others. I've tried really hard to convince myself everything will be gravy in the long run but my head won't let it happen. For someone who suffers from life crisis' or depression at any age it can be incredibly hard to make others understand, especially since, in my case anyway, they probably don't understand it themselves.

The best thing I’ve found to help me through is to talk about it, finding the right person or people is hard but you'll be surprised how many people will listen and give comforting and reassuring words without judging you, thinking you're nuts or simply saying "well that's life, you better get used to it".

Try your hardest, however much you can't be bothered, to do the things that you know make you happy. Generally just doing something that won't stress me out other than watching TV seems to be good for me so try and be active (not necessarily sporty just do something). I've found the satisfaction gained from cleaning my car or my bedroom, however stupid it may sound, helps on a small level.

Keep yourself in the company of others, it doesn't really matter who they are, being social really does help, especially if they can make you laugh - it really is miracle cure, even if only short term.

If you’re not financially stretched try a holiday, some sunshine and a change of scenery will probably do you wonders.

Overall just try your damned hardest to be positive, that's much easier said than done believe me, but things will get better even if it takes a few months.

Sorry for the essay but I hope it helps you, even a little bit.

Daniel

[future orange 660]

haha if u think u are having a quarter life crisis... not going to make u feel good about stuff is it?

[trials_pimp]

Ive been there. Not fun.

Something that helps alot, get a very good friend, goto a quiet pub, or house, sit drink and talk. About all and nothing, get things off your chest ect.

Must be a real good friend who youd trust with your most intimate thoughts. I found the more I spoke about things to friends, the better I could veiw them and they could help me.

[Jolfa]

Oh my god, I am having a quarter life crisis! Theres actually a name for feeling this crap for no real reason

[anzo]

I'm not calling despression bullshit; I realise its a serious issue. However, theres a huge gap from having a bad month and being clinically depressed.

I've had ups and downs, shit at work, lack of money, no missus...but I get on with it; sitting there moaning about it isn't going to solve anything. I think if someone came to talk to me and moaned because they haven't got a job and no money I'd probably walk out - its really not that hard, packing f**king shelves in Tesco gets money!

I'm a firm believer that life is what you make of it - if you can't laugh at yourself and your own pathetic problems then whats the point in doing anything. People out there are dying and would kill for everything you have now. Fair enough, you might not have a missus, not much money, not know what to do for a living...so f**king what...Worse things happen at sea.

Edited February 20, 2008 by anzo

[1a2bcio8]

I'm not calling despression bullshit; I realise its a serious issue. However, theres a huge gap from having a bad month and being clinically depressed.

I've had ups and downs, shit at work, lack of money, no missus...but I get on with it; sitting there moaning about it isn't going to solve anything. I think if someone came to talk to me and moaned because they haven't got a job and no money I'd probably walk out - its really not that hard, packing f**king shelves in Tesco gets money!

I'm a firm believer that life is what you make of it - if you can't laugh at yourself and your own pathetic problems then whats the point in doing anything. People out there are dying and would kill for everything you have now. Fair enough, you might not have a missus, not much money, not know what to do for a living...so f**king what...Worse things happen at see.

Saying it is one thing, actually feeling that way is something else. If it was as simple as a rational choice, don't you think everybody would be doing it? I'd prefer to have a happy, carefree attitude but it's not quite as easy as that for most of us.

Personally, I feel anxious in social situations - i totally f**ked a university interview today because I lost the ability to both think and articulate myself. Before the interview, I was telling myself it was nothing to worry about, that getting anxious is pointless and self-fulfilling of the worries that spawns it. I became anxious regardless of my rationalising and now I've probably lost out on my first choice of university. I think this is pretty much the same for all undesirable states of mind - depression, frustration, etc. We can see the pointlessness of it, we just don't know how to change it.

[Token]

I find it hard to pee when people are watching me.

[Al_Fel]

Sorry if my little Joke offended anyone. I was just trying to make a few people laugh.

Like ben said its one thing saying something and a another thing doing it. Chances are though there's billions of people much much worse off than you. I sort of semi belive in karma. IF you're nice to people and help people out chances are someones going to be nice to you. If you're misserable, moan about things all the time, complain, keep saying the world is out to get you then you are going to bring the people you are talking to down.

Any way as easy as it is to say Think positive, help other people out, don't do things you know are wrong and enjoy your life.

[ben_travis]

your post here.

hmm. my post before may have been irrational, given the situation of 'spacemunkee',

however, i am also going through a tough time, i graduated uni last year, and the change between uni and work, is pretty difficult (for me anyway), also living away from the missus at the current time, as well as not having as much time to socialise, i have a list of problems as long as my arm.

im skint, i struggle through, im looking for a mortgage, flat, new job, and all sorts else,

however,

• there are people out there, who know they are going to die in the next five years because of some critical illness.
• there are people out there who have to eat shit (pretty much) because they cannot afford / get to decent food
• there are people out there, who are in more debt than i can ever imagine
• there are people out there who will never earn more than 20k, because of whatever reason
• there are people who will never own there own property
• there are people out there who have no missus

so what im saying, and agreeing with anzo, is that a 'quarter-life crisis' is such pish, the only way to get over it is to pull through it. if you struggle on for now, things always sort them selves out.

On this forum, i forever hear people saying, oh i cant get a job, because of x, or i cant do this, or i cant do that, some people on here (not aimed at spacemunkee) will not realise that you cannot start at the top. CLS was not always the best UK street rider (with his style), steve peat was not always a world beater on his circuit. tarty bikes did not become the most used place to buy trials bits overnight. they started at the bottom and worked up.

Hence my slightly sarcastic reply, because folk on this forum, do not realise that to get somewhere takes effort, and complain about it.

so. to answer the initial question in the first post.

pull through it lad, just keep working, if you dont work at sorting the problem, you will only get deeper into your 'crisis'. also your very young. chill out and enjoy your youth, cos things are only gunna get harder.

[kid creole]

I find it hard to pee when people are watching me.

me to , its called shy bladder

[hI-OOPS-CAPS]

you know, as much i might make this whole thing up ive heard it somewhere. the brain produces a cannibis like substance. when you exercise this substance is created, which i think is dopamine.

if i feel bogged down with uni work, it gets to me alot because my future depends on it. i can play a strenuous game of squash and come away feeling the best of shape.

and when i mean strenuous, i mean where my eye lashes have been saturated with sweat.

at that point i just feel high in motivation for everything that needs to be done.

im also bladder shy too, especially in my local pub when druggies are doing their lines a yard from me

[munkee]

To be honest this isnt a case of "lets remember there are people starving out there and a lot worse off than me" i can be pretty self centered and to be honest.. i dont really care about all these starving people. In the coming months i have some big decisions that will actually change the rest of my life. This isnt a case of picking a few subjects for a level / uni subject. Its finally the decision that can put me on the pathway for my next 30 odd years in life. Also, i would like to say it takes good character to realise that you arent all you thought you were or how could i put that better.. it seems a lot more sensible to recognise what you are good and bad at.. self reflection almost. Worrying about where your decisions are going to take you if you arent worried then clearly you havent pushed your self. If you dont have uncertainty then you arent striving for something which you wouldn't normally undertake.

Anzo.. it would be easy for someone to come out of a university and doss around as a shelf stacker with the hopes of eventually becoming regional stacking manager. But some people wish to persue an actual career and with this comes uncertainty. Money is not a worry for me, however im not going to undersell myself after 4 years in a degree that i have actually put a lot of work in to. This isnt a case of "get off the forum and do something about it" the whole point of this is that you cant do anything about it until the time is right which once again leads on to the uncertainty, the worry.. because you know that time is coming.. but you arent yet in the correct position to make a judgement as to whats going to happen in the next 5 or 6 months. But the questions are always hanging there.. thats where it all stems from. Being unable to answer the questions and plan ahead.. you arent able to.. because between now and then there are so many other short term deadlines you have to fill... but it never stops you worrying about it.

[Jolfa]

the brain produces a cannibis like substance. when you exercise this substance is created,

at that point i just feel high in motivation for everything that needs to be done.

So it's nothing like cannabis then