the666ers Posted May 23, 2008 Report Share Posted May 23, 2008 I went to shoot my load in the missus' mouth but she moved and it went up her nose. haha similar moment, mine was more on her nose than inside though I full on plugged a nostril and shot the whole lot up there, was well funny haha. There's an actual term for this, It's called 'Blooring'. So you could say that you 'bloored' your missus. The joys of finding this out when you've a friend whose surname is bloor. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rich J Posted May 23, 2008 Report Share Posted May 23, 2008 When we were selling our house having to clear out for an hour or so was a regular occasion and rides usually passed the time. One day went out and it started to rain knew I had to wait another 30 mins or so before I could go home so just sat about. Waited and went home to an empty house. Assumed family had gone shopping or something. Procedded to remove all my clothes in the kitchen and put them in the washing machine like a good boy. Then a key was put in the door. Turns out the estate agent called my mum and said she would be an hour late.... Never did sell our house. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
python_man Posted June 2, 2008 Report Share Posted June 2, 2008 butt (bump up this topic) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fixed Pants™ Posted June 2, 2008 Report Share Posted June 2, 2008 (edited) When we were selling our house having to clear out for an hour or so was a regular occasion and rides usually passed the time. One day went out and it started to rain knew I had to wait another 30 mins or so before I could go home so just sat about. Waited and went home to an empty house. Assumed family had gone shopping or something. Procedded to remove all my clothes in the kitchen and put them in the washing machine like a good boy. Then a key was put in the door. Turns out the estate agent called my mum and said she would be an hour late.... Never did sell our house. Don't get it? Ohhh, remove all your clothes, so you were naked and the estate agent walked in on that? Edited June 2, 2008 by Fat Pants™ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rich J Posted June 2, 2008 Report Share Posted June 2, 2008 Don't get it? Ohhh, remove all your clothes, so you were naked and the estate agent walked in on that? Yeah. pretty much so. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mr ailsbury Posted June 2, 2008 Report Share Posted June 2, 2008 rolling down a street with road works so there was a que of traffic, on my BMX, texting so only had one hand on, going fairly fast too. hit a pipe that they'd left trailing across the pavement and skidded along th efloor on my belly, got up covered in grazes and pavement crud. was 'orrible Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
slug Posted June 11, 2008 Report Share Posted June 11, 2008 (edited) I had an assembly about what we could do after we had left school, and at this time people had begun to shout my name across the school (eg beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeen) Then the people doing the assembly came up with a game and half tehroom had to shout for 1 thing and the other half a different And whenever everyone was told to shout they just screamed my name i wasnt happy at the time (bump ) ben Edited June 11, 2008 by slug Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tom_ Posted June 11, 2008 Report Share Posted June 11, 2008 So people shouted your name during a careers speech? I dont get it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
slug Posted June 11, 2008 Report Share Posted June 11, 2008 yeah basically like the whole year Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe_Elding Posted June 11, 2008 Report Share Posted June 11, 2008 lol, sounds like you got terrorised Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
slug Posted June 11, 2008 Report Share Posted June 11, 2008 they're still shouting it now it was liek a year ago Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
onzaboyjake Posted June 11, 2008 Report Share Posted June 11, 2008 he did, and it was mostly my fault Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
higgzGU! Posted June 13, 2008 Report Share Posted June 13, 2008 Ha, was out riding was and we riding on this small wall messing about these two fit girls came and sat down fairly close to us, i didnt have a clue who they were but i wasnt to now that my friend behind me did, we were all sat on our bikes saving from falling off and mking our sleves look a twat, anyway i thought one of the lass's had been looking at me, she turns around andd said 'alright', i replied, 'alright how are you', she then sais 'where were you last night? i didnt have a cluewhat the f**k she was on about i then realised she had been talking to theperson behind me, i went red a a betroot. gutted mate done that a couple of time's and you feel like a right twat don't you. Craig Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Diz Posted June 13, 2008 Report Share Posted June 13, 2008 I started going out with this new girl and we were having a bit of a session one day. All of a sudden i let out the biggest fart ever...one you'd be really proud of if you were with your mates. Not knowing what to do to salvage the situation, i just said "that shit came from my soul". I think she appreciated it...not the fart mind. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dan_addison Posted June 13, 2008 Report Share Posted June 13, 2008 At my school if you dont bring PE kit they give you some shitty asda red shorts and the stinkyest t-shirts going. So were walking back into the changesing room and just as were walking past the girls chaging rooms i get geg'd boxxers aswell. I felt quite proud actully until my teacher came round the corner and me still standing there with "little Dan and his 2 friends" still hanging out Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RR_Trials Posted June 13, 2008 Author Report Share Posted June 13, 2008 Can't belive my thread from many moons ago actualy lived. please feel free to give some more storys my eyes are watering were i have laughed so much. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boswell Posted June 14, 2008 Report Share Posted June 14, 2008 Riding along a wall on my BMX on the southend sea front which was about a foot wide, Front feel slips off (God knows how!), for some reason I hardly make any reaction, still holding the bars my face clips the wall on the way down and at that exact moment a coastgard was driving past in a jeep, see's and stop! Also once my computer broke down, Guys come round to fix it, finds porn, tells mum, you get the idea... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Broomer Posted June 18, 2008 Report Share Posted June 18, 2008 Being 17 nearly 18 and walking into a hopsital last night becuase while fixing my laptop my sister broke, super glue went straight into my eye. burnt. and stinged to f**k. dont try this at home kids.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rhythm_101 Posted June 18, 2008 Report Share Posted June 18, 2008 after shagging my girlfriend, i proceded to leave the condon with all it's contents on't bedside table, my dog then burst in my room using it's head to open the door, went straight for the condon, and ran off, i chased the f**ker down the hall, and she went into my mums room..... and onto her bed, i shat myself ran and back to my room to hide then saw my mum, arm extended with said condom pinched between her fingers... pissing herself laughing!!! that was quite emabressing!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
monty221pr Posted June 18, 2008 Report Share Posted June 18, 2008 after shagging my girlfriend, i proceded to leave the condon with all it's contents on't bedside table, my dog then burst in my room using it's head to open the door, went straight for the condon, and ran off, i chased the f**ker down the hall, and she went into my mums room..... and onto her bed, i shat myself ran and back to my room to hide then saw my mum, arm extended with said condom pinched between her fingers... pissing herself laughing!!! that was quite emabressing!! Sounds like a scene from american pie or a horror film Unlucky Sam. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Si-man Posted June 18, 2008 Report Share Posted June 18, 2008 LMFAO! Id just burst out laughing if that happened, like the time my mum caught me wanking HAHA Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Z o o !! Posted June 18, 2008 Report Share Posted June 18, 2008 Also once my computer broke down, Guys come round to fix it, finds porn, tells mum, you get the idea... I Lol'd like the time my mum caught me wanking HAHA Amd again haa. Classic. Was getting ready to go out one evening and noone was in, went for a bath. Trouble is we have a dodgey lock and occasionally and i locked it when i didnt even need to, got out the bath went to unlock the door, they f**ker got stuck. i phoned my mum being casual so she didnt have to come home and she was going to be home for another hours, i wasnt sitting in my bathroom for an hour as i was going out. i had no clothes what so ever in the bathrrom at the time i left themin my room. so i limbed out of the window star bollock naked and climbed across to the next open window. it being a warm evening most people were still in there gardens and was spotted by most of my neighbourss Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MadManMike Posted June 18, 2008 Report Share Posted June 18, 2008 Hahahahhhaha!!!! I'm literally LOL'ing here! Classic thread :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
1a2bcio8 Posted June 19, 2008 Report Share Posted June 19, 2008 Although I've experienced only minor embarassement from this story I shall share it for potential amusement factor. Basically I had returned from an excellent ride in Bristol although at the end of that day I had torn a ligament in my ankle having rolled it. I'd taken a fair few painkillers and was feeling a bit hazy by the time I was home - my excuse. It had been a very hot day and I really needed a shower but all my clean boxers were still wet from having been washed. I consequently decided that placing one pair into the oven for drying would be a great idea. After turning the oven upto around 100C I went upstairs to capture the days footage. Obviously being totally engrossed in those new lines I'd performed that day I totally forgot about the boxers until about 30-40 mins later. Limp running downstairs on remembering I found the entire lower floor filled with smoke to the degree that when I ran into the living room I had to turn around and run away again. The smoke instantly burned my eyes and lungs. Obviously though this was not a situation I could leave to diffuse itself. So I forced myself through, tears streaming and coughing to the oven where I extracted the half-remaining, flaming cardboard like boxer shorts I'd previously placed into the oven. They were stiff as a board but mostly burnt away. Fortunately I managed to air the smoke away before my mum got back that night and she was surprisingly unaware of what had happened. I had my bmx stolen in the same way where i placed it out the front of the house and went to turn my computer off but ended up stitting on the computer for 30mins until I remembered about the bike. Legged it to the bike but it was gone... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tom jersey Posted June 19, 2008 Report Share Posted June 19, 2008 LMAO, ummmmmmm getting pushed in the canteen at school by my mate and slipping on water fall flat on my ass then hole of year 10 and my year 11 looking at me lol. Too many to right up on tf. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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