Progression Or Regression In Riding

[BONGO]

Prepare yourself, this could turn out to be a long one for the bored ones amongst us.

As you might know i'm just getting back into riding after 18 months off the bike due to hurting my knee. Sure i rode a little at the very start of this year, between the two operations i had in December and March, but that was very limited as i'd actually had the main ligament in my knee removed totally in the first operation (my ACL).

The last few weeks i've began riding again, and it's kinda hard. I'm so happy that i can start again, and by the feel of things, i'll get back to where i was, hopefully within six months if i have no further injuries, but it's pretty hard to come back, when i've changed so much physically and mentally. This ain't a moan, or anything, in fact, i'm not sure what this is for, but i just feel like i want to type what's going on in my head, like a diary i suppose lol.

When i fell off originally, i went home. I thought i could maybe sleep it off, but the morning came and it became apparent that i needed to go to the hospital. I went there, took the day off work and got sorted. I had X rays and was sent away with a "come back in a week" style send away. I thought i'd be out for a few weeks, but that turned into a couple of months. It ended up that i would get so excited to go to the hospital to hear that i could begin riding again, but each time, the doctors said i'd have to wait longer, for more x rays, MRI scans, Arthroscopy's, ultimately, to find out if i'd damaged my main ligament. It was the hardest 6 months of my life, which might sound a bit OTT, but to go from riding every single day for 7 years, to not being able to ride at all, and in the first few weeks, not even walk, get up the stairs or get food from the kitchen and carry it to eh living room (becasue i needed crutches), all when i didn't know my future, was really hard. I found out almost 6 months after injuring my knee, that i did infact need surgery to replace my ligament.

I'd researched all the while about the procedure's available, and knew what i wanted. Along with the surgeon we decided what option to go for. Things with the NHS move slow, and it was March of this year when i finally got the operation i needed, to replace the ligament (which had already been removed in a previous operation in December) with a piece of my hamstring out of the same leg.

It went well and i was sent home 3 days after the op, leaving my morphene button behind at the hospital. Back to square one as far as the pain disruption of daily life went, but i was on the mend.

This whole time i'd been forced to think about my life in general. Riding was my life, it gave me my friends, my happiness, my excitement, my future, and my memories, yet it took away my health, possibly my job, my parents peace of mind, and possibly my future. Was it worth it?? Well, when i felt positive about it, it made me more determined than ever to get back to where i was, and get better than ever. When i felt shit, the question kept creeeping back.

A couple of months back i had a set back and thought i'd done it again. It was the first time i'd answered the question in my head. I thought that maybe it wasn't worth it. Maybe i should call it a day.

Without riding, i realised i had nothing to do really. I was told by James Brookes, another rider who'd been through the same thing, that i HAD to get away from riding when i was out of action. Something i didn't want to do, and didn't plan on doing, but over time, realised it was somehting that must be done. I had to accept what had happened, and get on with it. I conciously taught myself to think positively. Being annoyed at the past, things that were uncontrollable, was pointless. I decided to look at things and say "ok, it's happened, and i'm here, so i have to look forwards. Don't be annoyed at the past, be excited for the future. I started fishing with some good friends. Once i'd accepted things, i began to show up at riding events and skateparks and i was ok with not riding. It was just a case of waiting. A bit like a kid waiting for Christmas, it was cool. You know it's coming, but it's not here yet.

Anyway, i've started again, but i'm out of shape. I have more fat now, i have less muscle. My left leg is really weak from the surgery, and my right leg is stronger than ever from the over compensation for the last 18 months. Even so, just sitting on a ramp with my mates is the best thing in the world.

I'm beginning to get some of my better tricks back, one at a time. Friday i got my first 900 nosepick since i fell, Sunday i got 540 hurricanes back, and last night i got flips back. One step at a time i'm getting my passion back. Of course it's worth it, it's what i do, it's who i am and it's something i have to do for myself. I think i'd grow old regretting it if i didn't return to riding.

So am i progressing?? I'm only learning things i've already done. Of course i'm weak and unfit compared to the past, but i'm doing nothing new. I'm only progressing because i regressed. It felt so good to do tricks I've missed over the last few days, but then I'd try others. In my head, I know how to do it, but then my body just won't do it right. It was disheartening to realise I'm not where I was. I almost forgot. I feel the same but I'm used to me! To step back and remember how I was made me think, shit, I'm nothing like I was. I think I'm a bit fragile mentally, about how things will go in the next few months. With so many set backs and let downs with the injury, now that it's going ok, it's hard to be totally optomistic when you know the implications of another injury. I'm so happy to be getting back, and I'm excited to see how I get on. I am determined to have more fun than ever, create even better memories than before and make sure I live with no regrets. I do believe that everything that happens, whether it's for a reason or not, can be used to teach you something, or allow you to enjoy your life more in one way or another. If i'd not fell, i'd never have got into fishing, and i doubt i'd have found motorbikes. Shit happens and it's down to yourself to turn it into good.

There are no questions in this, I've typed it out, yet I'm still not sure why I have typed it! I think it's just nice to type out where you're at mentally sometimes! Maybe some people have been in similar situations and understand better than others. It's been one of the toughest things mentally that i've beeen through. I'm not a cryer, but i've cried plenty of times thinking i might not ever ride again, i've cried becasue even when i knew i would be able to ride again, it'd be in such a long time etc. I think I'd do it again if it got me to where I'm at now, despite all the shite involved, I love my life, and it's taught me a lot about how to deal with tough times, it's given me new hobbies, like fishing and my motorbike, I've met new friends from this, and I'm excited for the future.

If you read all that, you have all my respect!

Bongo

[Tony Harrison]

I remember once riding trials after about a year off, in London, and I couldn't even do a 6ft gap. It was just depressing, and I thought, damn, even if I ride for weeks from now on, it's going to take ages to get back where I was.

But you said it yourself - BMX means a lot to you, brings you enjoyment and makes you feel good. I suppose it'll just take a lot of time. I'm sure you said something about hard things in life making you stronger - it seems this injury has given you lots of time to think about stuff.

Glad you're on the mend and back on the bike though. You know it's worth it.

[Lawnmowerman]

That was a good read. I know how you feel Bongo, I'm doing the same after nearly 3 years out. What do you use to support your knee? I haven't had the operation so my knee is really weak.

[BONGO]

Cheers for that, it'll be reeet in the end!

i don't use a support. I've used supports in the past to detrimental effect, on my ankles. I found they did the job of my muscles a bit too much and my ankles becaem much worse as a result. I'm going easy for longer, to build the muscles.

That's kind of besides the point anyway, as braces don't stop ACL tears. You can snap your ACL from just a quarter of an inch twist in the wrong direction, so it wouldn't stop that. It would help stop dislocations etc, but i' going down the braceless route myself.

Bongo

[Lawnmowerman]

I'm trying to stop the dislocations and to give myself some confidence. You know the feeling when it randomly comes out of the socket but doesn't hurt.

[Ali C]

jeeez, you still recovering from that injury bongo?? thats pretty harsh! Still, its inspiring to see your still 100% into riding and can see the good side to life

I am recovering from a torn ligament in my foot (also from bmx!) I have been in cast for the past 5 and a bit weeks and I doubt I'll be riding properly for another month or so yet, its not as long as you were out but I can see where your comming from.

at the moment I am as into riding as ever...maybe more as this time off has made me realise how much I actually enjoyed riding! I am watching vids, studying techniques and I am getting into weight training (as much as poss with bad ankle) so I am ready for next years comps.

I seriously CANT wait till I am riding again, the time off has just pushed my want for bigger better riding and comp results more than ever...I want to improve soooooo much! I have never been this determined to get better at anything in my life!

[Tony Harrison]

What nights are you riding fat boy? Might come and photograph you. Or we could do it at your house if you want, when nobody else is in?

[BONGO]

I've just realised you're peter baxendale thomas!!!

I'll be riding tomorrow night and Friday night la. I won't be a fat boy for long

[BONGO]

if possibly ali, avoid using an ankle brace. It gives your muscles the excuse not to get strong, and you will end up even weaker than now in your foot. I made the mistake on both ankles and it took over 2 years to get out of the vicious circle of wearing them to allow me to ride, or removing them and hurting them before they had the time to get strong.

[Ali C]

yeah, dave cleaver told me not to use a brace as his ankles a bit f**ked too. Two more days and I can take my cast off:D

[JTM]

I think you have summed up there basically why I quit. I had got to the point of riding so rarely, but still enjoying it when I did ride, that I was forever learning the same thing. Id go out, do something, only to have a month off and have to learn it again. I just finally got bored of getting nowhere. Strange thing is, I think I just like BIKES. Even just rolling round on one feels great. Im at the point now where I would like to do some trials, but I cant afford a bike. Ah well.

[BONGO]

I think you have summed up there basically why I quit. I had got to the point of riding so rarely, but still enjoying it when I did ride, that I was forever learning the same thing. Id go out, do something, only to have a month off and have to learn it again. I just finally got bored of getting nowhere. Strange thing is, I think I just like BIKES. Even just rolling round on one feels great. Im at the point now where I would like to do some trials, but I cant afford a bike. Ah well.

Get a f**king motorbike then!!! Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease!!! i've got spare leathers here. whack them on and we can go out on mine. You'll f**king LOVE it!!!!

[Tony Harrison]

I had got to the point of riding so rarely, but still enjoying it when I did ride, that I was forever learning the same thing. Id go out, do something, only to have a month off and have to learn it again.

Strange thing is, I think I just like BIKES. Even just rolling round on one feels great.

What happened to your BMX? I rode my trials bike last night, and I was amazed at what I could still do, but knew it would take a few weeks to get back up to standard, but it's just not satisfying. The enjoyment isn't really there. However, tearing to work on my BMX is great fun, even if it's small gaps between curbs and speedbumps, etc...

[Rusevelt]

Nah! its not progression, its call MUSCLE MEMORY. you simply conditioned your riding muscles to perform at the ready of specific tricks. doesnt matter if you get injured because your body is designed to heal itself better/stronger.

[JTM]

What happened to your BMX? I rode my trials bike last night, and I was amazed at what I could still do, but knew it would take a few weeks to get back up to standard, but it's just not satisfying. The enjoyment isn't really there. However, tearing to work on my BMX is great fun, even if it's small gaps between curbs and speedbumps, etc...

Oooo thats long gone. I had my trials bike and bmx...........then I sold my trials bike......then I sold my bmx........then I bought a 20in monty.........then I sold that

Bongo, they dont do anything for me!!!

[Tom_C]

Bongo-it will come back eventually. At the start of the summer I got cocky at my trails and decided to combine going slow and trying to boost the lips. I wasn't 100% happy with the lip I'd half finished but went ahead anyway. Bam! Hung the front wheel up and landed from 8-9' in the air onto my neck/ collarbone onto rocks we had pulled from the landing. Got up then realised something was pretty wrong-there was a lump protruding from my shoulder and I was starting to feel really sick. Collarbone was broken in 3 places, the day before my exams and right at the start of the summer, the time of year when I seem to progress fastest. Cue 12 weeks of awkward sleep and not being able to lift stuff comfortably I got back on my bike for The Rebel Jam in Berlin. I was sick of riding, did not see the point in risking myself as I'm not even a great rider anyway so was no loss to my life.

I'm so glad I got back on my bike and went to Germany, meeting some of the friendliest riders and just having a laugh with my mates that I travelled with was simply amazing. Absolutely loved the mellowpark and street in Berlin. Got back from there and had to work loads to save money to go to uni so didn't ride much. Fast forward to now and I'm finally now feeling like I'm pushing myself to progress. Sheffield is amazing for riding as is the attitude of alot of the riders here. Despite the constant aching of thumbs and wrists from harsh street riding here, I love it and am riding most days/nights despite it being bloody freezing!

I guess it depends how bad your injury is, but riding seems to just make days easier to deal with, and gives an insight into the most awesome social life I could ever want. Met a friend of yours, Bongo,-guy called Dave, who has loads of arm tatoos and is a chippy? So I will actually come to Liverpool to ride at last, it's alot nearer for me now!

Tom

[BONGO]

riding seems to just make days easier to deal with, and gives an insight into the most awesome social life I could ever want.

Met a friend of yours, Bongo,-guy called Dave, who has loads of arm tatoos and is a chippy? So I will actually come to Liverpool to ride at last, it's alot nearer for me now!

Tom

Definately!!

And yeah, dave's alright lol. Like's the old pory pie every now and then but he's a good lad lol. Look's a bit like a blind mans sketch book but he's happy hahaha.

[Trix]

Nice read, and I'm glad your getting your old hobbie back bit by bit, I had something similar but not due to injury. But obviously if you have seen my vids I wasn't riding trials before what I had, so I'm happy in a way that I've sort of started trials due to what happened and I'm loving it.

I wish you all the best in the future.

[Bessell]

Good to here Mate that your more into ridin now more than ever, i can relate to all of what u said i know just how u feel and i am glad your back enjoying riding now mate.. good luck!