Simon

"Sorry, i think we have to put an end to us, i really want it to go somewhere but with our friendship i can't see it" Me - "Ok, personally, i think its silly to throw away something like us but i said i'd respect your decision" "I know, i really really want to kiss you but i just can't see it". She thinks i'm the most amazing person, yet doesn't want to take it anywhere 'cause of a friendship, er, no offense, but f**king live a little, surely regretting what you've done is better then regretting what you haven't in this case? Women can seriously f**k off, seriously. I hope she isn't expecting me to be all like i was, i had strong feelings for her and i certainly ain't going to drop them over night, and seeing her and trying to hold back will just be f**king akward. Argh. Hopefully going to get pissed tomorrow, can drown my sorrows looking at more women i can't get, wont talk too, and probably wont ever talk too. Great.

Christ... 1. The day i landed my first website development job in Brighton. Don't think i stopped smiling from getting the job to walking in the door. Something i always wanted to, and really is amazing that had done it at only 18. I am so greatful for that company giving me the opportunity that they did. 2. Landing the job where i am at now. This really is a dream job for me, a massively respected design and development company with awesome clients and awesome prospects, i'll always remember getting that phone call the day after going for interview, after waiting 2 months to get a date for interview, with my new boss on the other end asking me start in just a few days time skipping the second interview process. I was litterely jumping around the house laughing to my self. 3. Driving my Civic back from isle of wight. Hitting VTEC on the way back and just realising where my life is actually heading, that it was actually going somewhere and i was achieving. 4. Walking round a picture-esque town with an ex, don't like to admit it, but it really was amazing that. 5. A small one, but the evening i picked up my car from the body shop. I'll never forget that i don't think, really was a massive milestone in my life, not sure why, but i guess it relates to 3, just solidifying the fact that my life is actually heading somewhere and i am actually achieving good things, doing something with myself. Can't pick out one as best moment, but they are up there. There are a few others i can remember having but not instantly springing to mind too. I've actually had some good moments in my life, always seem to be over shadowed by the consistently worse ones, but heh, swings and round-a-bouts.

f**k, where to start. Week or two ago i starting meeting up with a girl i've known for a very long time. We go through phases of hardly talking, then always talking and so on. I'm always there for her, offering her advice, helping her through the bad times in her life, and has been like this for a long time now. So anyway, we met up again when my car was in body shop as she offered to give me lifts to and from work, this when i realised she had changed from the completely manic and immature girl that i had knew before. She had matured, into someone i could easily fall for. That weekend we was talking about my mates and how her mates never really want to do anything like what we do, randomly go bowling, pool, go round a mates and chill, play Wii and so on. As it happens, my best mate had just recently split from a girlfriend of 2-3 months, they was looking at moving in together and so on. We was going round a mates and i asked if she wanted to come, and she kept asking about my mate. It was obvious that she had something for him so i suggested she come to get to know him and so on. At my mates i got them talking and so on but quickly realised that i actually had feelings for her, but by this time it was also obvious that she liked my mate, and he liked her. They text there after and we met up the following day as well where they was like, touchy feely, i just dealt (anyone remember my last post in this thread? Pretty much same situation, girl i liked went for my mate so i just let the feelings go and didn't say anything). When they started talking after the initial excitement she started to think that my mate wasn't actually right for her at all, for instance, one of his first questions after knowing her for 2 days was, "are you ok with me being your last boyfriend". Yeh, he likes commitment... At this point she started questioning my feelings towards her, i shrugged it off as not to ruin their chances but in the end i just told her after i asked why she wanted to know and her reply was "wishful thinking i guess". After this, everything was f**ked up, she told me mate she wasn't actually interested and that she was only excited really 'cause of the pro-longed perioid without a relationship and sudden buzz of having a possible there. I should at this point have felt like second best, but i didn't. We met up after that but it seemed that she hadn't actually got the message across to my friend who was still interested so i backed off. I kept asking her to speak to him properly as lets be honest here, it was only her that could fix this. They spoke in the end and my friend was completely fine with her feelings and saying that it was quite obvious who she liked, and my feelings toward her. Maybe he remembered what i did for him and his ex, either way it was all good. At this point we was hugging and it just felt so good, so nice to have someone you care about embrace you and be close with you. Day's drew on and we met up every night, randomly driving and talking, going bowling and so on and then she was basically, "you are so amazing, and i can't stop thinking about you, but i can't see us together". Bam, i was bit like, 'wtf' at this point, but basically said the ball is her court and i'll respect any decision she makes in relation to us. Then last night we went out to pub with some mates and we was all chatting away, she sat their texting my mate of my phone and was clearly somewhere else. Cause of the whole not wanting what she wants i didn't do anything, i just left her too it really, maybe a wrong decision looking back but heh. We got home and was talking and she said "is it not obvious i like you" to which i replied "not always". Oh man, can of worms would be understatement of the year. This went on for hours and basically had the undercurrent of "i don't know why you like me, you can do better" blah blah, the usual. Basically where i'm at now. I've told her i don't want anyone else, i want to be in her life, help her through such bad times but she just wont listen. It's just so f**king complicated, and when i write it out now, i make her sound shit and she really isn't, just think it's a case of mistaken feelings or what ever, and my reluctance to tell her how i felt at the start, and her reluctance to go anywhere with it just yet. Meh, my advice for her in the past has been pretty much spot on so i'm basically just following my little in-experienced insticts which have guided her in the past, and hopefully can guide me. I miss simplicity. PS: just seen the size of my post, not expecting a reply, only really wanted to get it off my chest, plus i've explained events really, really bad haha.

Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. That is all.

Well i don't talk like that in front of her.

Girls make me happy, they also make me sad. It's an awesome feeling to just hold a person you really care about, missed that. Shame i'm being firewalled by the whole "your such a good friend and i can't see us together yet" line.

Amen.

Mine's kind of half blooming for once. Blocked by the whole, "i've always seen you as my best mate, even brother" scenario. Women.

Nah, we have a mac in the office and as Safari for PC is still beta we don't test for it. Number plates look shit, just ruins the line of the car in my opinion. If worst comes to the worst i'll try and get my idea sorted of using magnets hidden somewhere so the number plate can just be popped off without leaving a mark or mounting plate and so on.

Pow.

Er, if i call my company Coca Cola Productions, i'm pretty sure Coca Cola would have something to say about it. If i was you, i'd start the process of finding a new name before you've branded all your projects with it, made letter heads and so on.

Christ. Don't really know what else to say.

I remember 3 years ago, me and some mates played this over new years eve for like 3 or 4 hours. Can be so much fun.

You've got skills. Simple and effect site, now just get it scaling.

Girl's, f**k me off. I'm down and angry without them, then when one comes along i'm the f**king same. WISH THEY'D f**kING SORT THEMSELVES OUT. Mother f**kers. Can't be arsed to explain, but christ, f**king way to put a downer on an amazing evening of getting my car back. Argh. Will just keep thinking about car, will cheer me up. I'm turning to bestiality.

Mine are mostly Japanese and i don't have many, but here we go. http://www.capitalseating.co.uk http://www.needforspeed.co.uk/pages/home.asp http://www.europerformance.co.uk/ http://www.performance-solution.co.uk/default.html http://www.balancemotorsport.co.uk/ Might be of some use, will go through my bookmarks see if i can find any more.

I can't f**king wait to do my Flash course next month, love flash websites. Just a shame his one doesn't fully utalize it, like linking out to the blog and the image gallery, as those two parts could easily be included in. Love the site though, very cool.

Not just this mate, best mate before that, best mate in high school, college my friends were limited and girl contact was minimal so none there. Meh. her - "Do you like me?" me - "Why does it matter, you like x?" her "Wishful thinking i guess?" ARGH. You want something like this, then when you get it, its super f**king complicated. Meh. Just ignoring her now, not going to ruin it between her and my mate, they clearly like each other, he just needs to loosen up and not want marriage after 2 days of knowing her then they can be happy together and i can move on like i did with the girl last year.

What? Not claimed, or claimed and slacking? Did i hear waiting for 2008 stock was the plan?

You are validated, you can stop trying so hard now...

Yeh, thing is though, Freelance is an uneven wage. You could get 1k one week, then only 200 over the next 3. There is also skill set to think about. Going freelance you only have one skill set, when working at a company you have a varied skill set that you can pitch to hundreds of different projects with different technologies and needs. Also, a large company would hardly ever hire a freelance to solely undertake their project, mainly because we are getting most of the large company's now so i know where they are going, and it's a share of the top 10 UK agencies, not freelancers. Freelancers get these little jobs that keep the small to medium sector ticking over, then we take care of the rest. I think the only way you can maybe properly work as a thriving freelancer is if you have the contacts to get you the jobs, ie, after you've been working at a large firm who can give you the smaller jobs that often do come in as they know what you are capable off, and having the blessing of a multi million pound company isn't taken lightly, plus you can steal clients that you've worked with personally as you know their systems, their working methods and their staff. It's better to work as a freelance for most things except for security and money.

Christ. Personally, i would of gone ape had a site then supplied with some round corner buttons badly compressed image buttons and a banner, nav, content layout site. I guess it does the job so to speak, it's just a shame so many people think that doing the bare minimum will get them the respect and cash flow that they look for. You/the developers are not the only one's who think like this either, even some big company's think this, which is such a massive shame.

The retort has to be in context with the argument, and it has to make people think about what you've just said. Witty and intelligence will win you an argument a lot more then the currently awful comebacks people have given in this thread.

Station is a f**king ball ache to ride from, get someone that knows the way! For sure! Portsmouth one is super easy to get to, and starting spot is 1 minute out of station to the left. Both are amazing rides.

Christ, it's Jenn.