A few weeks ago I had a sort of panic attack basically because something triggered the fact and feeling that I had no idea where my life is heading. I mean we all have those cute childhood speeches: "When I grow up Im going to be an astronaught" or whatever. Fact is at that age in our lives, we don't realise NASA dont want the fat, unhealthy lard-arse we turn in to when its time to start a career. I felt (last week) as though I never actually focused on a single career that I wanted to do. Because what if shit hit the fan and I couldn't do it? Example, I wanted to be an electrician (at one point) but then I was told that my colourblindness, however slight it is, AUTOMATICALLY prevents me from doing it. Recently I've gained a place at swansea university for mechanical engineering. Yay. 4 more years of being taught complicated, awkward formulae and logic with the possibility or leaving with a degree. Oh and about £20,000 of debt. But tonight I've been talking with a mate, once I leave uni, what's going to happen? If I got a sponsorship then I could have a job sorted out already, but I'd be tied to the company. However if I don't think quick Im going to be screwed when I leave. Also, I want a mechanical sort of job now before I go to uni in the hope that it keeps my mind mechanically fresh and active. But I can't get into anywhere without specific qualifications for machining etc. and even if I leave uni with a degree, its still not the same as these qualifications. Don't get me wrong Im not moaning saying lifes shit. I love life and go for everything I can, its just in order for me to keep doing so and staying on the straight and narrow I've got no idea what to do now After this so called panic attack I was told by my lovely ex girlfriend (pics for those who need a wank on request) to do what I wanted. So I did, I quit at morrisons. Simultaenously I was made redundant at my other job in a toy shop so im a bit buggered unless someone can suggest something for me I tried a year in industry website, but Im too late, next entry is this time next year (when Ill be in swansea) All I can do is work, but where? Anyone else feel in a similar situation? share here we can all be a mess together PaRtZ xxx