Heard 2 corkers today, needed to share them... Woman is stood in her bedroom, looking into a mirror, 'I feel fat and Ugly, Pay me a compliment' she says to her husband sat on the bed 'Your eyesight is cracking' Paddy and Murphy are walking through a forest in Australia, They see a crocodile at the side of a lake, and notice a mans head poking out the mouth, Paddy says to Murphy 'Look at that flash fanny with his Lacoste sleeping bag'