Jolfa

Been with Barclays since my dad opened me an account when I was about 10, spot on Got our business account with HSBC and they are absolutely f*cking useless, they drive me nuts.

My resignation to Asda back in the day began - "Dear Asda, I'd love to say it's been a pleasure working for you for the last 2 years but that would be an outrageous lie..." It continued to give all the reasons why I hated that place mentioning specific names and things they did. I caused a handful of managers a lot of shit with head office on my way out. Petty but satisfying If you're definitely set on leaving, I would do a similar thing to the above but make note that you will be taking the matter up with head office, and follow it through Could end up with some cash, or at very least an apology letter for your experience and a promise they'll give the boss in question a kicking, which would be endlessly satisfying (to me anyway)

Really? Could you not just have posted it in the Minecraft thread rather than put a piss poor track on a video and present it like school homework? Bank's pretty snazzy though, might copy that

I run a business that breaks even so I don't actually ever get paid... ...I do have a massive unit full of my cars and tools though (age 25)

I don't ride trials at all anymore... So mostly cars - building them and ruining them

Off the top of my head with not much thought - Dr Dre - 2001 (The Chronic) Bloc Party - Silent Alarm Linkin Park - Reanimation System of a Down - Toxicity Jurassic 5 - Power In Numbers Zebrahead - Playmate of the Year RJD2 - Since We Last Spoke Boards of Canada - Music has the Right to Children Mars Volta - De-Loused in the Comatorium Kruder and Dorfmeister - The K & D sessions 10 albums for various moods that I could listen to over and over and not get bored of

Blimey he's come a long way from the West Park days on a stone age Monty with BMX style bars

Really? You wouldn't even have the 700bhp twin engined PipeWerx one?

What's wrong with that? Sounds fine to me! What did you have before?

Absolute crap by modern supercar standards, but still the first thing I would buy if I had a lot of money and then I could die happy! Love 'em, love everything about 'em!

Without a shadow of a doubt Asif doing the shopping/practicality comes into it, you've won the Euromillions, you can afford servants to do that kind of tedious shit for you!

I always built up and up, as above What I can't get my head around is people who suffer big injuries and then carry on going big after that! I went over the bars and knocked my teeth out trying to tap for the first time and I just never had any confidence to do anything ever again after that...

It would be brilliant if the dolls actually flew. In reality they're much too heavy even when full of helium, I tried this with various promotional inflatables when I worked at my last job...

I had 20's with 8's next to them, took the 8's out 'cause it looked shit though

Simple response - "can I put my finger up your arse" you might get lucky, they could say yes!

No, but plenty of people have them on their arms, hands, shoulders etc. You see no end of the older generation with LOVE and HATE on their knuckles, or swallows on their hand/arm that look properly dreadful. Or older ladies with dolphins and love hearts on their arm/boob which I think is tragic... As said it's a simple enough procedure to stitch saggy lobes up, I've seen folk who had 30+mm holes stitched and you'd never know they ever stretched them in the first place!

The same could be said of tattoos, but they're more widely accepted... You can at least take tunnels out or at worst have them stitched, it's considerably more work to change your mind about a tattoo!

Ex kissed someone at a party (she never told me who but had my suspicions), I let it go, then she kissed my best mate, then it came out that she'd kissed the same mate before at the start of the relationship. Then we broke up but were still seeing each other (so not really broken up at the time) and another mate started trying to get a slice, told him to pack it in, he carried on, ended up hitting him. She was a nob. Though tbf to mate #1 she was his ex first (I didn't know this when we got together) so it was kind of a strange situation in the first place and I couldn't stay mad at him. I'm still mates with both of the above mates but finally realised I was wasting my time getting shit on time and time again by the ex especially since I nearly f*cked my current relationship up craving her and telling trials-forum all about it Current girlfriend is 100x better, glad she gave me the chance

Long Eaton yayyyyy

Valuable knowledge my dad imparted on me - If it's got tits or tyres, it's trouble.

7x8=56 It was always the one I forgot when doing times tables Also esential phrase in Indonesian and Japanese, I can say "That's no donkey, that's my wife"

Got any mates who just never answer their phone, reply to txts or return your calls but are pally as f*ck to your face and make weak excuses? That's annoying!

I often forget to reply once I've read stuff, I try to reply to things that require an answer though. On a similar note I hate people who reply to me to just say "ok", absolutely no need!

Smooth. Just take the advice you've been given, you needy git

Would be rude not to since it's only up the road and I blag my way in for free every year There's actually a good handful of bands I'd like to see though so I'm tempted to actually pay so I don't have to f*ck around! Click