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onza pro series guy

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Posts posted by onza pro series guy

  18. How to get yourself noticed in bike trials?

    in Beginners Trials Chat

    Posted · Edited by onza pro series guy

    get naked and cover yourself in goose fat, go to the shop and run at the window, then do spin your penis around while doing starjumps outside, if this still doesn't attract their attention enter the shop and perform the moonwalk while humming 'Billie Jean' to yourself up and down the isle, then present your testicles to the shopkeeper by pushing your shaft to one side and squeezing them as hard as you can while screaming 'Why don't you love me like you used to?!' Then ask him if he can smell his mum on your breath and burp in his face. Then squat in front of a CCTV camera and squeeze out a massive turd on the floor, insert a miniture flag of Azerbaijan in it and run away while making a noise like a dying velociraptor.

    it's never failed to get me noticed

    • Like 10

  20. Drunken Escapades And Injuries

    in Chit Chat

    Posted · Edited by onza pro series guy

    tried to ride my fixie round my house a little while ago, seemed like a good idea, which lead to me trying to axle stand in my front room and falling off into my TV.

    Also on the way home about two weeks ago I decided to climb a fence and stand on top of it while peeing off; i balenced for about 15secs while peeing before falling off and landing face first in my own pee-mud. But after that I bought a McDonalds so it was fine :)

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