Nice little edit that, a few years behind you at 35 but can relate to what you were saying. Had a bit of an epiphany recently after reading a book called dopamine nation in relation to riding for me. Although ive kept up riding over the years i find myself going through the motions sometimes and that book reminded what I enjoy about it which is pushing yourself and the progress, the older I've got the less i lean into pushing myself which I've now come to understand is why i likely dont take the same enjoyment from it, short summary is i now know to continue to push myself when it comes to riding if i want to take pleasure from it. That doesnt necessarily mean going as big as i did in my twenties but just push the body and capability i now have. I felt that sentiment come through in the edit which its taken me a long time to realise!!