Pashley26

But if they all agree I am clearly over 18, what does a not legal requirement company policy have to do with me buying beer.

Why would I leave the sun roof, I could have used a brick and a hack saw to remove the sunroof and it would have looked better than if I had of just left the sunroof in. It really isn't that big a deal, it's a mornings work and a bit of paint. You guys do make me laugh.

Nah, be fine. It's still fairly straight, by the time I knock it back into shape it will be alright. Worst case I might just skim some filler over it and and give it a lick of paint, but it's absolutely salvagable.

I don't know what you mean, I'm not welding anything so there won't be any heat? I'm going to drill and bolt an aluminium sheet over the hole, and the dents, make sure it fits and covers everything then take it off and paint it body colour then rivet it back on and tiger seal it. The roof was all coming off lovely, no damage and everything was all good in the hood. But that one corner was held in with chemical metal. I ran a knife between the roof skin and the sunroofs cage, cut all the tiger seal and then gently dropped it down. The passengers side came off beautifully, and all around the front came off too but there was so much tiger seal on the passengers side I had to cut it from the back, I pulled the sunroof down a bit from the inside of the car and put my arm in under the sunroof to cut the tiger seal off the back of the sunroof and the whole thing fell down, but stayed attached in that one corner where it had been chemical metal'd in Everything else came off lovely.

No, he wasn't. Challenge 25 is just a mechanism to make people think twice. I am quite clearly the most over 18 person in the world, Martin is a fanny who needs to learn to use his brain and employ people who have one. Not a single employee in that shop thought I was not 18, so why the f**k would they continue down this challenge 25 bollocks. When they were all in agreement that I was well over 18?

Whaaa? I'm riveting a whacking great plate of aluminium over it. The guy with the carbon roof sold it to somebody else, he did ask me if I still wanted it first but to be honest I CBA. Hassle innit.

Because my mum like literally owns Fleet high street. She'll probably go in there tomorrow and rip him a new one. It's just illogical, f**k their policy, f**k them in the bum. I'm going to go there every day for the rest of my life and buy alcohol with my pissing driving license and make a big fuss about it. Every day.

Stupid people f**king piss me off. M and S just down the road, I go in there and get dinner and a bottle of Peroni. The woman is asking me for payment, I've put my card in the machine and the assistant manager runs over and she starts giving me a hard time about ID. Conversation goes down like this. ''Can we see some ID please?'' ''I'd love to, but my license is with DVLA for an address change so I don't have any on me.'' ''Well you can't have this alcohol then.'' ''How old do you think I am, really?'' ''Umm, I think you're 24.'' ''Ok, and what's the age you have to be to buy alcohol.'' ''That's not the point, company policy is challenge 25.'' ''It's company policy for you to not sell alcohol to somebody you think is 6 years above the legal age to purchase alcohol?'' ''No, it is company policy for us to ask anybody we think is under 25 for ID when buying age restricted products.'' ''Ok, well you've asked. I've said I can't provide you with any. But none the less, you think I'm 24 which I just so happen to be so that was a good guess. Now can I go home and cook my dinner and drink a beer with it. Or are you going to continue to make me a dissatisfied customer and argue with me about how you think I'm 6 years older than 18, but you still won't serve me a singular bottle of Peroni?'' There's a huge long line of people behind me by this point, so I thought I might as well go the whole hog. And I asked to speak to the manager. Manager comes down, I explain to him the idiocy of his staff. All he seems to be able to say is that it's my fault for not coming out with ID. We didn't see eye to eye on that one, because he himself agreed I looked much older than 18. He seemed to suggest that I pay for an independent ID for the one time since I was 16 that I haven't had my driving license on me because I'm getting the address changed. I said ''Is that because when I'm 34 and my photo card is due for renewal I'll still be being ID'd by your dimwitted staff?'' At that point my phone rings, oddly it was my mother. I answered it because I had about as much respect for the manager of M and S as I do for chewing gum on the pavement. ''Hi mum, can't talk. Just in marks and spencer arguing with the manager about how he thinks I am 24, but still won't serve me alcohol.'' ''Which one? Is it Martin?'' I turn to him and say ''Is your name Martin?'' ''How did you know that! Who are you on the phone to?'' So I cut the conversation off with my mother, turned to 'Martin' and said ''Well, you'll be hearing from head office soon. I think that's potentially the most dismal mystery shop I've ever had to attend.'' Walked out, left all of my shopping on the side, went straight into Sainsburys where I bought the Peroni for 40p cheaper, didn't get ID'd and paid less for the spaghetti and meatballs. c**ts.

Sometimes I amaze myself. I don't have a sunroof any more though. Going to need a pretty f**king big bit of aluminium and quite a lot of filler I think.

I have 7 expired licenses, Rainbird has a few too. I used to use them on nights out in Plymouth.

Drove to the pub, things were good. Stopped on the way there, the Golf looked like a Golf. Got to the pub, the Golf still looked like a Golf. I sat around and waited for Prawn and enjoyed the sun. I'll even treat you to an interior picture. Prawn turned up. And ground his splitter out whose than I've ever seen on entrance to the car park. A funny yellow man pulled in behind him in his Bentley. The two really don't go together. He did bring his lovely girlfriend though. Then Luke turned up in the Passat, I won't subject you to a picture. Have this instead. We sat in the garden and drank beer, the funny yellow man drank a coffee and we watched people look at the Bentley and laugh about it being parked next to our sheds. Then we had dinner. Prawn and I had a lovely drive home, I think I've poisoned him with the odd yet extreme amount of oil and fuel that comes out of my exhaust. That's my night in a nut shell.

Why does the donkey sanctuary advert make me so sad? It's not the donkey's fault, I just want to give them a cuddle and make it all better.

Yeah can do, when you move in. I'll have to clean out the double garage so that I can get the Golf in there, you'll have to use the hard standing. The super dooper man who is fitting the roll cage just gave me a call for a catch up and to ask me when I wanted to bring the cage to him. Going to fit it at some point towards the end of May. Such a lovely bloke.

Today I ended up doing loads more than I thought I was going to. Got up this morning, had some cat cuddles in the sun. Breakfast. What does this mean? There was a horrible loom for the bi-xenon's, it's clearly been there a long long long time judging by the antiquated shit I took out. I know they took ages, and I know they work really really well but I just don't think a Mk2 looks like a Mk2 without this. So I'm going to upgrade the loom, purchase some new headlights and have another try at a more OEM installation. After I'd removed the old loom, remade some sort of loom for the original H4 lights which were thankfully still in my spares box with all the connectors I set about a task I didn't know I had to do. One f**ked auxiliary drive belt! Less than two minutes to remove, less than two minutes to refit Swapped the plugs out for some BKR7E's. Maybe running a tad lean, but it'll do for now. Removed a load of unnecessary wiring from under and behind the dash, a load of the shit that's in the engine bay left over from the loom. The loom is branded Vagtronics loom, so I phoned them and found out they had on record everything that was done to the loom and the specification of the ECU and what requirements were removed from it. Which is nice. If you can't polish a turd, you might as well try...If all else fails just roll it in glitter. Washed it twice, went over it with my little gaylord brush. Riiiimz. Then I machine polished it, properly this time. Then washed it again and did all the door shuts and things with my gaylord brush. Waxed it. Done.

Because they're covered in duck oil? I'm going to the West Meon Hut tonight for a bit of a meet up, Kennard, Prawn, Ponting, Horney, a few others. If anybody wants to go. Haz?

This is true. Back to actual car stuff then. - Day off work tomorrow. Where I plan on doing things to the Golf. Last night I was tackling some wiring, mainly applying a vehicle speed sensor signal to the ECU by bridging the connection from the hall sensor on the back of the clocks which reads from the speedo cable to oddly allow for automatic volume control at speed for the radio. So I bridged it across with the cable running out the window, all ran fine, loads smoother, more boost, rev'd cleanly to 7K. Today I tried to make that a more permanent fix, didn't work. Just like normal. So I bridged it again in the same way. Still didn't work. The MFA's stopped working now too, so I think I've f**ked my clocks hall sensor. Badgering.

Hardly trying to give you a lesson in business, but I'd have thought that you of all people would have been sympathetic to the way that it works. xXx

Yeah, but she wanted me to f**k her. She didn't want a random bloke to snapchat her a picture of his cock. Tutt tutt. I thought you were a businessman Customer comes in with a target price of £150. My quotation at a normal deal is £180. (Let's say) If I'm going to be the one with all the flexibility then they can f**k right off, retail is a two way street. I'm there to sell, not give things away. If I've knocked £29.50 off what I expect and they won't come up fifty pence then they can go buy off somebody else. In my books.

One of them sent a picture of his dick to a customer with the caption "FB's yeh?" The other copied a customers signature to try and get an unsigned order form past me. I don't think so

Being a good brand manager is great. You get to fire the useless c**ts that have pissed you off for the past 2 years and employ decent people who are actually going to look after their customers.

But it's only a quid. If you went into your local barbers, and could get your hair cut for £15 and get a reasonable job, or get it done for £16 down the road and have an excellent job done then you would. Nobody is walking over a quid. I did send somebody home over a years tax once though, refused to do the deal because of £30.

f**king hell. I agree with JD. Apocalypse in 3...2...1... I'm not a sales badger salesman, I don't do the whole sales bollocks because I just can't be bothered with it. Customer comes in, talk to them about the car, take them for a drive, ask them if they want to buy it if the figures are right, get the figures right and then sell them the car. The only salesman like thing I do is pencing deals. Customer says they want to spend £150 a month, make the payment £150.50. 5 year finance deal, 0.5x60 is an extra £30 per deal, times 50 cars a month on finance over a year that's an extra 18k on one site alone. Increase that to £150.99 and you've made over 35k extra in your annual budget and spread that over 19 sites and it's 665k. And on fuel as well, we budget £20 behind the scenes for fuel in every car, but if the customer pays for fuel we don't make any money, but we don't have to pay the £20 transfer of costs for putting fuel in if they don't. £20 of fuel saved on 20 cars a month, over twelve months spread across 19 sites is 91k's worth of fuel. Things like that is probably why they made me manager to be fair.

Yeah, what Dan said! Those things are absolute tanks. Probably more reliable. - Thing with this guy is he really pushed me on price, deal deal deal and gave me commitment to buy before we went through figures. On test drive he was making all the right noises, loved the car, I got commitment to buy when we got back from test drive. "So you love the car, which is great. If the figures are right is this the car you'd want to buy?" "Absolutely." If the figures are right, and you've beaten the salesman down by almost £100 a month and he's got within your price window, and you've shopped him with online leasing quotes then why when the car is the right price wouldn't you commit? You either don't like the salesman; couldn't be that the mystery shop scored me 20points out of 20 for salesman attitude, knowledge and proficiency of finance. Or you don't actually want the car, or have already ordered it from the online leasing company but you're just using the salesman for a test drive because the online leasing company don't offer test drives. That's why you don't buy new cars. People who are into cars, like getting their hands dirty and are of the mindset you and I are won't buy new cars from dealerships. The other 71% of the market place who see a new car as an aspirational purchase and aren't really petrol heads just want to come in, fall in love with the car and let the dealership do all the work without any effort or risk on their part.

It was a Fiat 500. I'd subsidised the finance by over £1300 to make it interest free, given them £1750 off because they already had a Fiat so we're eligible for loyalty bonus, gave them three years free servicing and a set of mats. On a normal retail deal without me ripping all the profit out of it and giving so much away it would have been £227 a month. I offered them a monthly payment of £152. If they don't want to buy it at that price, it's because they don't want the car.

I can't be dealing with it, I've never had anybody say "I've got to go home to talk to my wife about it" and come back and buy a car. Literally. That's just a polite way of saying they don't want the car.